It's the same sort of message Dimitri's sent Claude every Thursday this past semester. Hanging out quickly became a regular habit right from the very beginning of their student careers at Garreg Mach University, especially given how many 100-level classes they shared. While their class picks for the next semester didn't quite match each other so perfectly, that wasn't a reason to stop popping by each others' dorm rooms or a long movie or game day on the weekends. It just meant that while Dimitri finished class a good few hours later compared to Claude on Thursdays, he would send Claude a text asking if he wanted to hang out once he finished. Sometimes that meant grabbing a quick bite for dinner somewhere, and other times it meant a study session to trade notes on their shared history class with Professor Seteth. When Claude cajoled him into being particularly irresponsible, it meant staying up too late in one of their dorms, regardless of the fact that Claude had a morning Friday class while Dimitri had the day off.
He can't even count the times he's messaged Claude like this now. If he so much as scrolled up, he knows he'd find this exact text from him dozens of times, albeit buried between the rest of their long and varied conversations.
Yet somehow, he can't quite bring himself to press send. He stares down at the words he's written a dozen times, wondering if this is how he should be asking his boyfriend to spend time together.
Objectively, he knows this shouldn't really change how he talks to Claude. The whole reason they're dating now is because neither of them could keep their feelings bottled up any longer, that no matter how much time they spent together as friends, they both still wanted more every time they were together. In that sense, maybe Dimitri shouldn't even have to ask if Claude wants to spend time together... But it's not as if he wants to assume or impose either. Just because they're dating now doesn't mean he can selfishly take all of Claude's time.
... No matter that he genuinely wishes he could. Sometimes, he thinks he could never have enough of Claude's time to himself, but he knows that would be ridiculous. Both because it would be impossible and because he's clearly jumping the gun about his feelings. El's always said he gets carried away by his emotions too easily, and she's usually right. Dimitri's perfectly happy with his relationship with Claude right now, so no need to risk messing things up so soon by scaring Claude away with the strength of his feelings.
Although in that regard, "Hanging out today?" simply doesn't seem strong enough. Maybe not much has changed about their relationship in an objective sense, but surely this isn't the same as a casual hangout like it was before. He hits backspace on the second sentence, hardly looking up as he makes his way back to the dorms.
Just finished class. Can I come see you?
No, absolutely not, even Dimtiri knows it comes across way too strongly and needy. Sure, it's the real matter he's trying to get to, but no one likes it when someone's that desperate, right? Claude is always so laidback and easygoing, he'd probably think Dimitri pathetic, or even worse, weird for asking so directly.
He tries again.
Just finished class. Do you want to grab dinner?
It's not bad, probably. Casual enough to not come on too strong, he thinks, but also something that could easily be turned into a proper date if he took Claude somewhere in Garreg Mach proper rather than just somewhere on campus. The only problem is that his stomach feels so twisted in knots and butterflies, he doesn't actually have any appetite, and he already knows Claude would immediately pick that up and worry over him. While they haven't actually known each other all that long, Claude somehow seems to have a sixth sense for whenever something is troubling him.
One more try then. He types it out, feet stopping on the pathway into the dorm as he reviews the message. It feels casual enough to not be frightening, but also just different enough where there's clearly some different intent aside from their usual hangouts. Or so he thinks at least, and he presses send before he has time to second guess himself.]
Just finished class. I can head over to your dorm, if you'd like.
[One of the things Claude hasn't told Dimitri is how much he looks forward to their Thursdays.
Even though it isn't really the start of the weekend for him when he still has class on Fridays, it still feels like something of a reward for getting through the week. A tease for the full weekend where they can really spend their time together, and something to give Claude a little more motivation to get through his Friday work when he knows that Dimitri has the luxury of a day off.
He knows it's a little silly, which is why he hasn't explicitly ever stated how much he looks forward to it. He simply offers his affirmative text responses so they can make plans with little fuss. At least, that's how it seems.
But the reality is that every single time is phone vibrates during the day on a Thursday, he is scrambling to check his notifications and see if it's Dimitri. And through most of the day, it's all for naught. Texts from his other friends, stupid meme messages from Balthus, spam emails and an assortment of social media reply notifications. None of them are quite what he ever wants on a Thursday. He wants to hear from Dimitri. And maybe that should seem like the natural response for an exciting new relationship—but that makes it even more novel for Claude.
After all, he's never been in a relationship like this before. He's been in his fair share of them, but he'd be lying if he said he'd ever felt strongly about anything in them. They were fun and interesting... until they weren't. Then they were boring and he would put an end to it. There was no real thrill to just getting a simple text, and every last one of those relationships had fizzled out much quicker than how lasting the feelings toward Dimitri have been. It's the first time in his life where he can really understand the notion of actually having butterflies.
Which does make it a bit too embarrassing to admit. He doesn't really know how to say that the only way he'd refuse Dimitri's desire to spend time together is if it's physically impossible to do so. He doesn't know how to say that he waits f or that message every week. Or that he looks forward to every moment they get to go on a date, or just sit around together. If Balthus and Cyril saw him in this state, they'd never let him live it down. Hell, he's going through enough with just Hilda and Lorenz picking up on the fact that he's pretty serious about Dimitri.
...So naturally, he tries to play it cool when that text finally arrives. Even though his heart immediately starts to race when he sees the notif is from Dimitri. Even though he notices the slightly different wording that shows Dimitri is putting thought into how they interact just a little differently now that they're officially dating. It immediately brings a bright, unfiltered grin to his lips. Still, he resolves to wait a whole two minutes before responding, if only to not seem like he was waiting as desperately for a text from Dimitri as he is.]
Who am I to refuse such an offer?
[He sends that first, but then immediately types a second message, because he apparently does not actually have his thoughts organized enough to say it all at once. Playing it cool? Well, he's trying. Tonally it might seem that way, but that flutter of butterflies is a little more intense than it used to be.]
Are you hungry? I can order delivery. Unless you want to go out later instead, I mean.
[It's been the same for Dimitri this whole time. Sure, they're able to hang out during the rest of the week too, whether it's for the few shared classes they have or breaks in between classes, but Thursdays this semester have meant the start to the weekend and all the time they'd be able to spend together then. Being able to have several days in a row where they could spend as much time together as they wishes, whether that was simply hanging out in their dorms or going out for day trips elsewhere, Thursdays always herald the start of that.
Part of him knows it's a little silly to be so excited about something so mundane. Looking forward to the weekend was one thing, sure, but before Claude, he never thought he could be this excited to do the same thing he always does with the same person at the same time. Honestly, he thinks they could just be sitting next to one another at a library all day, he'd look forward to that with the same excitement. Even with all the family and friends he cherishes dearly in his life, he never thought that just seeing someone could make him so happy.
When it comes to Claude though, he simply is. It's almost strange, how jarringly new it all is; after all, after making it through high school with nothing more than fictional crushes and a few awkward dates, he honestly figured that maybe real life romance just wasn't for him. It was hard to picture himself in a romantic relationship with someone, and neither did he think he was missing much from it. Meeting Claude changed all of that, and in the months that have passed since they first met, it's only changed more and more.
Which is why Dimitri absolutely struggles to play it cool. Even after locking his phone and continuing his way into the dorms, he keeps a tight grip on it, as if trying to ensure he won't miss the vibration of a new message. He tells himself not to keep himself glued to his phone, that Claude could be away from his phone, that he could be napping as he's so wont to do. It's perfectly normal even for Claude not to respond right away, Dimitri knows this from experience. Claude may be a bit "terminally online," or so he describes himself as, but that doesn't mean he's constantly glued to his phone either.
But the moment his phone vibrates and chimes with a new notification, Dimitri slams his dorm door behind him, rushing to his bed as he unlocks his phone. Unsurprisingly, it's a new text from Claude, but it's still more than enough to have Dimitri happily kicking his feet against his bed frame, a grin splitting across his face. It's not even like he expected Claude to be disinterested, but knowing Claude wants to see him, even if it's just this little way...
It makes Dimitri happy. So, so much happier than he ever thought possible. The butterflies that were in his stomach feel like they're fluttering in his heart now instead with how light it feels. Honestly, he can't even respond just yet, even though he easily and happily could. All he can do for a moment is simply stare at his phone, his feet still kicking lightly against his bed, feeling giddier than he's ever felt in his life. There have been times where certain novels or games would make him feel something similar, but none of those could even hope to hold a candle to this.
And that's all without even seeing Claude. Honestly, he needs to try and rein this in, if only so he doesn't completely embarrass himself in front of Claude. They've only been dating for a little while now, and he'd hate to do anything to ruin that. If he did something so embarrassing or weird that Claude decided to break up with him, he'd never forgive himself.
Alright, enough getting worked up over nothing! There's still only so much of the evening left, and despite Dimitri's selfish wishes he keeps to himself, he doesn't want to make Claude stay up late when he has class tomorrow.]
I'm not that hungry yet, but we can do whatever you'd like for dinner. I'll be good either way.
[Really, he probably should be hungry, or at least start to get hungry very soon, but his eagerness to see Claude overpowers all of that. His stomach may not be twisted in knots any longer, but there's still a fluttering that hides any hunger he might be feeling.]
But I'll consider my offer taken. I just got back to my dorm, so I'll be there in a few minutes.
[Normally, he'd end it there. Claude's room is only a few down from his own, after all, so it's not like there's much waiting between Dimitri's text and him knocking on Claude's door. Even before they started dating, it's not like he wanted to see overeager for something as mundane as watching movies together.
... But again, it's about showing how things are different now, right? So after another moment, he sends one more text.]
[Every single feeling associated with this budding relationship just continues to feel so new and novel to Claude. If he didn't know himself any better, he'd have thought this was the first time he'd ever been in a relationship at all. But then, maybe that's what happens when it's the first relationship he's been in that isn't based on surface level attraction and what seems like it would be fun.
Every other relationship fizzled out because that thrill and fun never lasts. He's always found himself unable to emotionally connect with any partner on deeper level—and it wasn't as if he only intentionally sought to have such shallow relationships. He's dated kind, smart, funny, talented people only to break up with them knowing they deserved something better than he could offer them. At some point, that had morphed into Claude not really trying at all.
Until Dimitri, of course. Dimitri feels like a missing puzzle piece slotting its place into his heart. Claude isn't even sure how it's possible or how to make sense of it—but from the moment they met, everything just felt right. Sure, he can chalk some of that up to the physical attraction, because Dimitri is the most beautiful person he's ever seen in his entire life. That was the initial draw, but talking to Dimitri immediately charmed him in a way he'd never felt before. There's just something about him that feels special, that feels right to Claude, and it fills his chest with warmth.
Of course, it does also make him a little anxious to see what Dimitri has to say in response to his own message. Does he come across all right? Does he seem too cool? Did he reply too fast and look desperate? It's a little too easy to dwell on those things, so as soon as he presses send on the text, he launches himself off the bed and toward his mirror, wasting no time to re-braid his hair and put a bit of hair product in the loose strands to carefully tousle it a bit more. Looking effortless take more effort than Claude will ever really admit, but that's neither here nor there, right?
If only Dimitri could see how much effort Claude is really putting in—or the way he scrambles to grab his phone off the bed when he hears the buzzing against the mattress. Another smile creeps to his lips just seeing Dimitri's messages. He starts to type a response to the first two messages:
We can decide later, then. No big
...Not that he finishes typing, because as soon as Dimitri adds that third message, he's a little taken with it. Usually, Dimitri just leaves it at letting Claude know when he'll be over. "See you soon!" It's so...]
...Cute. [He murmurs aloud, that bright smile dialing back to something warm and endeared. After a long moment, he backspaces what he'd been writing and takes a short moment to consider what he should say. Just reacting, sending a gif or saying "okay, see you soon," feels disproportionate. Even though there was nothing particularly affectionate about Dimitri's choice in words, they've been hanging out long enough for Claude to immediately recognize the extra effort Dimitri is putting in. So what he sends after a moment is a simple:]
Can't wait, see you soon 😉
[No punctuation and a wink emoji—playful and whimsical enough, right? Surely Dimitri will know that it means Claude is thrilled to see him.]
[It really is almost strange, just how immediately and intensely Dimitri felt towards Claude upon meeting him. Even just the attraction he felt was something new and novel for him; his crushes on fictional depictions of King Khalid could hardly be called "attraction," after all, and he'd never felt anything remotely similar towards anyone else in his life despite being able to objectively recognize their attractiveness. From the moment he met Claude though, it's been so much more than just that—how easy they get along, how happy it makes him just to see Claude, the way spending time together feels right in a way he's never felt before, in a way he didn't even know was possible.
In that sense, he understands why the people close to him worry after him a bit. He couldn't blame El's shock when he confessed to her he had a crush on Claude, or even Sylvain's faint concern about him rushing into things just because it's his first crush. If he could look at himself from the outside in, he'd probably share in similar feelings just from an objective point of view.
He can't help the way he feels though, how his heart always flutters when he sees Claude, the way his feet feel just a little lighter when he knows he's heading to see him. It's not something he could control or stop even if he wanted to, not with how overwhelmingly powerful his feelings are.
Including silly feelings like wanting to make sure he looks his best when he sees Claude. After sending off his last message, he immediately gets himself ready for their hangout. For something as casual as hanging out in the dorms, it really shouldn't take all that much to get ready. He always showers after hockey practice at the gym anyways, so all he really needs to do is change into more comfortable clothes if he wants. If he was hanging out with any of his other friends, that would certainly be it; he's never been particularly self-conscious about his appearance, after all. For Claude though, he makes sure to wash his face and comb through his hair, making sure it's styled just right. Things that he never would've taken such care for, but even for something as simple as watching movies in Claude's room, it's somehow an absolute must.
He's in the middle of changing into sweat shorts when he hears his phone go off again, and he can only be grateful he doesn't room with anyone, if only so no one has to see the way he nearly trips with his shorts around his ankles when he scrambles for his phone. It's worth it though to see Claude's reply though, no matter that it's only a single line of text. Somehow, that little wink emoji seems so perfectly suited for Claude, and Dimitri could easily imagine him doing just that when he gets to Claude's. Even more exciting is knowing that Claude really is looking forward to seeing him. It's not like he ever thought otherwise, or that Claude wasn't having fun when they hung out...
But it's different actually seeing it, knowing it. It's different now that he doesn't just have to hope and wonder if Claude wants to see him as badly as he wants to see Claude.
It's late enough for there to not be too many people milling about in the dorms, which means Claude might hear the sound of quick, rushing footsteps heading towards his door. Did Dimitri rush through getting changed after Claude's last text just to head over and see him that much sooner? Well, Claude will simply have to see for himself once Dimitri knocks, his voice ever so faintly breathless as he calls through the door:]
[The walls of the dorm aren't nearly as thick as anyone would like, and with how quiet it usually is at this hour? It's really no wonder that Claude can hear the pounding of footsteps barreling down the hallway coming from the direction of Dimitri's room. It's oddly fitting, too, considering the fact that those footfalls seem to work in time with Claude's own racing heartbeat.
Somehow, even though he's ready? He doesn't feel ready.
It just goes back to that sensation of experiencing all these feelings for the first time. Planning dates and casual hangouts has never been exciting for him in this way; Claude can't recall a time with anyone else where just hearing footsteps could make his heart throb in this way.
And even though Claude is already standing right at the door when Dimitri arrives, he doesn't open the door right to greet Dimitri before he gets there. Even after Dimitri knocks and calls for him from the other side, Claude only stands there for a long moment, his hand frozen on the doorknob. Is it because he doesn't want to look like he's been desperately waiting like this? Is it because he wants to try to play it cool and collected like he always is in relationships? Is it because he feels like he needs a second for his heart to stop racing?
Yes. On all counts.
Not that he keeps Dimitri waiting long. It's only about 15 seconds before he opens the door. Rather than looking cool or collected, it's plain to see that there's a very faint flush of pink rising in his cheeks. Claude's smile is a little more coy than casual.]
...Hey. [He's just happy to see Dimitri. Though it doesn't take more than a second for Claude to realize that his gaze is lingering on Dimitri fondly just a touch too long. Not because that's really a bad thing, but more because it's probably a little rude to leave Dimitri standing in the doorway like that. He forces out a clearing of his throat as he steps aside, allowing room for Dimitri to come inside.]
Come on in. Mi casa es su casa and all that. [He figures any affections in their greetings can probably wait until the door's closed behind them. But also, Claude's not entirely sure what affections those would be. Reaching for Dimitri's hand? A light hug? A peck of the lips?
Navigating a relationship where he actually cares about the outcome and making sure Dimitri is comfortable at every step of the process is a lot more difficult than he would've thought before now.]
[If the walls are thin enough for Claude to hear Dimitri practically stampeding down, they should be thin enough for Dimitri to realize he doesn't hear Claude come to the door at all. In reality though, it doesn't cross his mind at all if maybe Claude was at the door because the moment he knocks, all he can hear is the way his heart pounds. Objectively, it's so silly; he isn't doing anything different compared to what he'd do before to hang out with Claude. The only thing that's changed is that they're dating now, and even that's less a change in anything substantial and more just a change in circumstances.
But that small change is more than enough for all of this, everything, to feel like so much more. The nervous butterflies only continue to flutter in his stomach despite his excitement and eagerness, and the moment Claude opens his door...
Honestly, that eager anticipation immediately melts into something so much softer and warmer. Just seeing Claude's face makes him so much happier, and even if it's only a casual greeting, hearing Claude's voice makes his heart both race and settle at the same time. Sure he could picture Claude's voice perfectly through his text; it's still nothing compared to hearing it aloud, to seeing Claude's smile accompany that greeting.]
Hi. [His expression is buttery soft as he gazes at Claude, taking in the flush on his cheeks and the way his gaze seems to linger which in turn makes Dimitri's own cheeks flush even warmer. Part of him almost wants to explain it away the way he always did before, that surely he must be imagining things that Claude's gaze might linger on him, or that his smile might seem extra bright after spending time together. Maybe it's still a little bit presumptuous to think and wonder if maybe it's because of him...
But now, he at least knows that there's a very, very good chance he's a reason for it. And he wants to keep being a reason for Claude to look so happy.]
Technically it's not quite your "house" when the university owns it, is it?
[It's just a little bit of teasing though as Dimitri makes his way inside. Truthfully, in the short time they've known one another, he really has been inside Claude's dorm so many times it could feel like his own. He could make his way cross the room to sit down with his eyes closed at this point, no matter what messes Claude may or may not have in his typically chaotic space.
But Dimitri doesn't do that. Instead of taking a seat like he so often does when coming over to hang out, the moment Claude closes his door, he'll find Dimitri waiting behind him...
With his arms held out for a hug.
His expression is a little nervous, more than a little embarrassed even, and he can't quite meet Claude's eyes for longer than a few seconds before shyly flicking back down, but... But it's okay since they're dating, right? It's okay if he asks to be in Claude's arms for a moment, isn't it? Even if he only asks with a physical gesture like this. As ever, some things are just easier for Dimitri to express in action rather than words.]
I'd say if I'm paying for it, then it's mine. At least, for now.
[He offers a bit of a playful grin in response. Sure, Dimitri is technically not wrong in that the university owns it, but Claude's not a freeloader! For the rest of the year, that's his room. So the phrase absolutely, totally applies. If he wants to invite Dimitri into his (temporary) home as if Dimitri lives there, it's fine!
Probably.
The details aren't really that important though; nobody is doing detailed room checks. Besides, they have a class together, so even if someone did want to kick up a fuss, they could easily make it about classwork. Claude isn't too fussed about it though, as evidenced by how relaxed he is. Or how relaxed he seems. He can't deny that his heart is still racing excitedly in his chest—but also true is the fact that Dimitri being right there in front of him also seems to bring a sense of comfortable, familiar calm over him.
That's always been the thing about Dimitri, after all. Whenever they're together, things just feel right, which is why he even developed these feelings to begin with. So despite all the nervous, heart-pounding excitement and the faint flush of pink in his cheeks... he pretty instantly feels comfortable.
And moreso, thrilled as we closes the door and turns to see Dimitri with outstretch arms. It takes virtually no time for him to close the small gap between them, burying his face against Dimitri's chest as he wraps his arms around his core. If Dimitri has any concerns or reasons he thinks he should feel embarrassed for silently asking for a hug, Claude is beyond quick to assuage them. Like most other things when it comes to Dimitri, he's been looking forward to this. Claude might always be trying hard to keep it cool, but there's little denying that he's actually a very affectionate person. When it comes to Dimitri, at least, that's the case. He isn't so quick to offer it to anyone else, but for Dimitri? He wants that all the time, anyway.
He draws in a deep breath, soaking in the feeling of being so close to Dimitri. After a moment, he turns his head slightly, ear pressed against Dimitri's chest to hear Dimitri's heartbeat.]
How was practice? [He likes to go watch Dimitri's games when he can, but he rarely gets the chance to see him practice. Which is maybe for the better when he still doesn't have a strong grasp on the finer details of hockey as a sport. Still, he takes interest! He likes to know how things are going in whatever aspects of Dimitri's life he's willing to share with Claude.]
[It's almost comical just how quickly and immediately Dimitri brightens upon Claude closing the gap between them for his hug. As Claude tucks himself against his chest, he buries his face in Claude's hair in turn, breathing slow and deep as he takes in the comfortable sensations of being so close to Claude. The warmth of having him in his arms, the familiar scent of Claude's s shampoo... Little things that prior to Claude, he never really would've thought twice of. Now? He's hyper-aware of when he's missing those things and thus hyper-aware of when he has them again.
Yet for all of his excited nerves in this new part of their relationship, when Claude presses so close against his chest, he's likely to hear the way Dimitri's heart calm down more than anything. It's exciting of course, and he really can't describe just how happy he is seeing Claude again despite having just seen him not too long ago... But there's just something so comforting in being with Claude. Whenever he's been nervous or anxious, even if it was about Claude himself for silly reasons like hoping he'd want to hang out or if he'd be interested in watching something together, just seeing Claude usually calms those nerves down so readily.
So really, he isn't fussed at all about spending so much time in Claude's dorm. There isn't anything that would forbid it, and besides... He just likes being with Claude too much to care. If the occasional student has seen him leaving Claude's dorm early morning in the same clothes he went in with the previous night, they can think what they like. It's not like they've done anything salacious just by hanging out.
... Or at least not yet. Dimitri really doesn't have enough experience to know how those sort of things come about, but that doesn't mean he hasn't wondered or even hoped when it comes to Claude.
But that's neither here nor there for the moment. Right now, all he honestly cares about is holding Claude as closely and tightly as is comfortable for Claude, as if to make up for the few hours they were apart by ensuring there isn't even an inch of space between them.]
It was good. Nothing too out of the ordinary, but I think the team is making strides. At the very least, Caspar seems to have learned that too much aggression will hurt us in real matches. [He admires Caspar's fiery spirit, but he's always been a little too quick and easy to get riled up, and that definitely cost them a bit in their last game. Still, he says it all with good humor. There's definitely some getting used to still with the team, but Dimitri's always appreciated what different people bring to the table. He doesn't think his practices would be that interesting for Claude to watch honestly, but he's happy enough that he likes coming to the official matches when he can despite being unfamiliar with the sport.] And how was your day? Anything exciting during class?
[Even though they texted plenty throughout the day, it's still nice to hear aloud from Claude on how jos day was. Whether it's interesting or mundane, he wants to hear it all.]
[It's not really intentional, but Claude does immediately notice the calming of Dimitri's heart—an action that warms Claude's smile even further. Even though he isn't thinking about it in any sort of deliberate, conscious way, there's something so soothing about Dimitri's presence, and further that he seems to be able to do the same for Dimitri. It's the small things like that reminding Claude of the best things about the situation they find themselves in, and why he is perfectly content to just bury himself against Dimitri's chest. It hasn't even been all that long since they were last together...
Yet all the same, it still feels too long. He just wants to soak in it a little longer before they properly settle in for the evening—even if he knows they'll probably remain just as close there, too.]
He might be a little slow on the uptake sometimes, but the kid's got spirit. I guess I'll get to see for myself how it plays out at your next game. [Or, at the very least, he'll try! He's taken the time to at least learn some of the terminology and positions, but he's not at the point where he's been able to actively put into practice what those things look like. It's still fun to watch, either way. If nothing else, Claude is never bored, because hockey is so fast-paced and the crowds get hyped up easily.
After a moment, Claude lets out a small laugh, shaking his head against Dimitri's chest.] Class was about as boring as it gets today. Though I did see Lorenz get brutally shut down by some girl. That? That was kinda funny. Maybe one of these days he'll realize being a pompous ass isn't going to win over any hearts.
[There's a difference between being confident and being an ass! Which he's not sure Lorenz has quite figured out. Even though there are people most definitely interested in Lorenz, he still has a bit of a one-track mind for his own standards, it seems. Which, despite some exasperations, is endlessly entertaining to Claude. In some ways, he really is still a bit of a menace, even if it's largely harmless and he keeps a lot of it to himself.]
[There's not a doubt in Dimitri's mind that once they settle in for the evening, he'll be clinging as closely to Claude then as he is now. Maybe to someone else, it'd be a little pathetic for him to be this desperate to be in Claude's arms... But seeing as how quickly and readily Claude responded to his open arms, he thinks it's alright. No matter how silly it is when they saw each other not too long ago, for Dimitri, it really does feel like it's just been too long. Now that they're together again, he wants to be as close as possible, as close as Claude will allow him. Really, that's the main reason why he can't bring himself to just settle in and sit down—even leaving the warmth of Claude's embrace for a moment feels like being apart for too much and too long.
So for better or worse, Dimitri is more than content to keep Claude buried against his chest. Part of him thinks that his heart must be Claude's completely already, so really, isn't it only right for Claude to be nestled there beside it?]
Hopefully by then, we'll put on a better game compared to the last one you saw. [And privately, Dimitri hopes Claude will be paying more attention to him than any of his other teammates... But that's a little embarrassing to say when he already knows Claude's primary interest in hockey only developed because of him in the first place, so he keeps it to himself. He can't deny though that seeing Claude cheer him on and get swept up in the excitement of the crowd always motivates him to play better.
Hearing about Claude's day though, Dimitri can't help but laugh, burying his face into Claude's hair to try and muffle the sound a bit. It's not like he dislikes Lorenz by any means, so he doesn't want to be rude, but...]
Claude! [How well his attempt to hide his laughter works is up for debate though, especially when Claude is pressed right against his chest anyways.] Even if Lorenz brought it upon himself, I don't know how kindly he'd take to it being the funniest part of your day.
[Despite his words though, it's not like he's actually trying to scold Claude or anything. Really, from the time he's spent with Claude's friends already, he can picture exactly just how and why Lorenz would earn himself such a brutal shutdown from a girl... And it really is funny every time.]
Perhaps you ought to advise him on how he could better win hearts. [He's only teasing, of course, and he understands generally that Claude's prior dating history probably wouldn't lend well to truly winning hearts... But Claude has his now, so surely he knows a thing or two about winning them!]
[Fortunately for Dimitri, any and all of his private hopes are easily met by Claude.
In one sense, because he doesn't seem to be in any rush to actually let go, despite the fact that they'd like be more comfortable settling in and getting cozy off their feet. But Claude really has missed him so much that letting go feels like something of an impossible. task. Even as Dimitri tries to stifle his laughter and playfully scold Claude for his words, Claude just holds on a little tighter, as if he really just can't bear to let go.
The other part of those hopes will be easily met when the time comes because Dimitri is the only reason Claude has taken any interest in hockey. It's undeniably fun to watch even when he doesn't really know what's going on, but Dimitri is always the star of the show to him. He can never really keep his eyes off Dimitri when he's thriving in an environment that seems so natural to him—when that time comes, Dimitri will likely be able to feel those eyes on him the entire time.
But until then, Dimitri will be able to hold on to his hopes as Claude currently keeps himself close. While Dimitri may be holding back some of that laughter as he teases, Claude himself has no qualms with letting his own laughter escape, doing so directly into Dimitri's chest.]
Unfortunately for Lorenz, he's lacking the one thing I have in spades: dangerously good looks and a charming sense of humor. [He's joking.
Kind of. Mostly.
In truth, Claude does know that he's considered attractive to many, and his lighthearted nature makes it easy to win others over. But those things never really won hearts, because Claude lacked the one thing that was important to doing such a thing—opening his own heart to others. He doesn't really know that anyone has ever really loved him so deeply in the past enough to say he won hearts. Dimitri is the first person who he's been serious about—and therefore the first time he's really had to consider these things beyond the surface level thrills of a new relationship and whatever that may have entailed. He isn't so cocky as to think he's really qualified to give anyone else love advice—not to mention the fact that even if he were, Lorenz wouldn't really take it from him anyway.
That's always been the push and pull of their friendship, and Claude is fine with that.] Besides, if I start letting him in on all my secrets, he might just manage to spirit you away from me.
[Okay, so even Claude knows that won't happen. Not even because he thinks Dimitri is that in love with him, just because he thinks Lorenz himself would never be interested in Dimitri that way even if Dimitri was down bad. But that's neither her nor there, not when he's just goofing off and setting the tone for a light and fun night with his boyfriend!]
[Truthfully, Dimitri has a lot of hopes when it comes to Claude, probably more than he even should by this point. Some are even things he knows to be objectively true and thus no need to hope for, yet he can't help it all the same. He hopes that Claude likes him and spending time with him; he hopes that he can make Claude happy, or at least ensure he's comfortable and enjoys himself; he hopes there isn't anything about himself that Claude will find out and dislike; he hopes Claude will want to be with him for... Well, for a long while yet.
And he hopes Claude will give him more kisses and continue to hold him so tightly. Just the way Claude keeps himself, laughing so closely that Dimitri can practically feel it in his heart, fulfills some of those private hopes already.]
To be fair to Lorenz, I doubt there's anyone who shares in your dangerously good looks or charming sense of humor. [It's a little bit of teasing again, even if as far as Dimitri's concerned, it's just the plain truth. He knows his fair share of people with good looks or fun senses of humor, some who even have both, but none of them are quite like Claude. Sure, Annette makes him bust out into belly laughs at time, and someone would have to be blind to not see how objectively gorgeous Yuri is, yet none of that can compare to Claude.
After all, neither of them managed to win Dimitri's heart the way Claude undoubtedly has. That's why even in a joke, he can't help but huff a little, burying his face a little into Claude's hair as if to convey that he's stuck to Claude's side no matter what.] As if I would ever let anyone spirit me away from you.
[Considering that up until Claude, Dimtiri's never even had more than silly crushes on fictional characters? It seems highly unlikely that anyone could spirit him away! Statistically speaking, it's surely nigh impossible. If anything, Dimitri thinks that if either of them could have their hearts won by someone else, it's Claude.
Not because he thinks Claude would cheat on him or anything, but... Dimitri doesn't really think he's all that interesting. He's so new to anything with relationships or romance, part of him honestly worries that Claude might grow bored of him. Sure, they've always had such a good time hanging out together, but that was as friends. What if that's not enough for a relationship? What if their game and movie nights grow stale? Surely there are people out there better looking, funnier, more interesting than him, and actually know something about romantic relationships. If someone like that comes along and pursues Claude, does Dimtiri really have anything that could ensure he keeps Claude's heart?
It's a silly worry to have, especially when Dimitri knows that objectively speaking, it's not like that'd be strange. He saw plenty of couples in high school come together quickly only to break up not long after. Really, they're so early into their relationship that it'd probably be a stretch to say he's won Claude's heart in the first place.
... He just knows that Claude's already won his, even if that's jumping the gun a bit. Nevertheless, even if he doesn't say it aloud, his heart is already so certain.
But none of that is important right now! He's here to goof off and have fun with his boyfriend, not worry about things he has no control over.] So rest assured, you'll get to keep those secrets to yourself.
Hey, you never know. I could see how it wouldn't be Lorenz, but that doesn't mean someone couldn't come along and steal your heart away. I doubt I'm the most charming man in Fódlan, after all.
[Even as Dimitri buries his face in Claude's hair, Claude says these words. Maybe they reveal a little too much truth despite the light and playful tone—that he does have his insecurities about bagging a guy like Dimitri. He's never met someone who he sincerely wants to spend so much time with. He's never met anyone he's actually wanted to trust with his heart, or where he found himself offering it without even realizing what he was doing.
There's something special about Dimitri, and he knows it. Even if Dimitri sees himself as uninteresting or not special, even if he worries that his lack of experience is something that will eventually bore Claude... well, Claude knows it's not the case. If anything, his own concerns are rooted in not being good enough for Dimitri. His history of promiscuity and being unable to commit, his inability to let himself be truly vulnerable or open—they could all be reasons that Dimitri may eventually grow tired of him. He isn't so naive as to not consider the possibility.
Of course, that's not what he wants, and he doesn't have any intention of giving up so easily. Still, it's reason enough for him to bury himself just a little closer to Dimitri for a moment.] Buuuuut, I think I'd prefer things to stay like this.
[He says it with a laugh, very easily downplaying any of those insecurities. He's not here to cause Dimitri worry, so naturally it's easier to just play it off as teasing and affection rather than anything else. It's still way too early in this relationship for Claude to let himself open up to that degree, after all.]
After all, having a few good secrets keeps things interesting, right? [With another laugh, he finally draws back enough to look up at Dimitri, his smile bright and warm in a way that seems to only show itself when the two of them are alone together.] All that said... I'm sure you'd rather get comfortable than stay on your feet after practice like this.
[There will be plenty of time to cozy up together and cuddle; they don't have to do this standing just inside the doorway, after all.]
[Even when Claude says it so playfully, it doesn't quite sit right with Dimitri, the frown on his lips deepening in response. There's no telling what the future holds, and he knows he can hardly make any promises; maybe the way he feels really is all just the rush of a first love, or maybe even just first crush. He doesn't really know better to confidently say otherwise. But nevertheless...
To him, there's truly no one more charming in all of Fódlan, man or woman. Probably in all of Almyra too. Honestly? Probably in the entire world.
But he's not here to argue something so silly when this is supposed to be a nice date. If Claude has any concern at all that someone else could just come along and steal Dimitri's heart away... Well, then all he has to do is prove that such a thing would never happen. He wants to show Claude little by little, day by day, that he only has eyes for him and no one else. After all, to him, Claude is undoubtedly, truly special. Never in his life before has anyone or anything made his heart skip and flutter and pound the way Claude always manages to do so easily. This is a feeling he only knows now because of Claude, and he wouldn't trade it for anything.
Really, it's not a matter of Claude being "good enough" for him, at least not as far as Dimitri's concerned. Claude is who he wants to be with in this way, and that's more than enough for him.]
Thankfully, this is the way I like it best, too. [No having their hearts stolen away by anyone else! Not that he thinks he could say he actually stole Claude's heart... But what matters is that things stay like this! With a few minor adjustments. As much as Dimitri likes being so close and cuddly with Claude, getting to see his face like this is one of those welcome adjustments. It always feels like such a treat when Claude smiles like this.] You don't need to worry about me just because of that... But I suppose there's no real reason to stay standing here regardless.
[He's used to hockey practice, it's fine! Never mind that he's undoubtedly always a bit more tired during their hangouts if it's a practice day... Yet even though he agrees with Claude, he can't really help himself—he briefly closes that distance between them again to give Claude a little peck on his forehead.
Because he can do that now, right? Because it's okay if getting comfortable means sharing a few more affections too, isn't it? Or at least, he really hopes it is.]
So... Let's get comfortable then. [A smooth operator, Dimitri most certainly is not. His cheeks flush, his smile a little shy and nervous again, but he really did just want to share his affections like that. It feels a little silly, but he knew he wouldn't be able to sit down and relax for the rest of the evening without getting some of that energy out!]
[Fortunately for them both, Claude's insecurities aren't so all-encompassing that it'll become much of a focus for anything. A talk here and t here as needed, maybe—but Claude will see in time just how much Dimitri cares for him in those ways. He isn't the sort to live in denial, so it won't take very much at all for him to accept Dimitri's feelings as anything but sincere (and eventually, unshakable). His passing feelings, after all, come from a place of wanting to be with Dimitri in the long term... and naturally wanting Dimitri to feel the same. Ultimately, it's not something either of them has to worry about. And for right now, that means it's easy to play down any implications and just focus on what's directly ahead of them.]
Call it a little less "worry" and a little more "speaking from experience." [His words come with a grin and a wink. It isn't really that he's particularly worried; Dimitri can take care of himself and if he couldn't handle a bit of a standing around after practice, he probably would have just invited Claude to his room to save even that little bit of effort. At least, that's what he thinks. But Claude's no stranger to just wanting to sit and relax after that kind of exertion; archery practice usually has Claude wanting to just lay out on the floor for a good, long while. After all that hard work, surely Dimitri would like to just get comfortable and relax!
Though explaining that train of thought gets completely derailed when Dimitri kisses his forehead—if only because he can feel his cheeks heating up. It's something Dimitri can do. And something he should do! Claude clearly enjoys the attention and affection, and seeing Dimitri's cheeks flushed, accompanied by that shy smile only makes him want even more of it.] Mm.
[With just enough distance between them, Claude reaches for Dimitri's hand (because he's sure he can do that now!), leading him deeper into the room. It's nothing Dimitri hasn't already seen, but the atmosphere Claude's got in his room is undeniably unique to him. The bed has pillows lining the wall to be used as a sofa, with the TV set up on the opposite wall. There are fairy lights around the window and the perimeter of the room—something Hilda had done months ago that Claude simply left because she put a surprising amount of effort into making it look "warm and welcoming." The nightstand next to the bed has pictures of him with his siblings, parents, and friends. His desk is stacked high with books about the unification war, alongside his laptop and other work for class. Every spare space is filled with something—an unused Almyran incense pot, little gifts and doo-dads given to him by friends, pictures and mementos of the time he's spent at Garreg Mach. It's chaotic and a bit messy, yet somehow warm and homey all the same—as much as can be possible in a dorm room, at least.]
Make yourself right at home. You know, as much as you can in a cramped dorm that will only be my humble abode until the year ends. [Time to get cozy and comfortable, but Claude will let Dimitri settle in first.]
[Seeing Claude blush from his little affections turns that shy smile into downright beaming. Maybe this is just normal for the rush of a new relationship, but Dimitri thinks it practically magical, knowing that he can make Claude have such a wonderful expression just from something small he's done. It'll probably fade in time as he grows more used to their relationship (or so he's read, so he thinks), but for now, he wants to enjoy it for as long as he possibly can. In reality, it goes to show that whenever those insecurities of Claude's may pop up, Dimitri will have more than enough feeling and affection to reassure him of any worries about him losing interest or having his heart stolen away.
As Claude takes his hand though, he wastes no time in holding Claude's hand back, his beaming smile brightening once again even as all Claude does is lead him further into the room. Safe to say that it's definitely okay for Claude to take his hand wherever and whenever!
Just like always though, Claude's room really is the familiar, chaotic whirlwind he's come to expect it to be. Yet despite only being halfway through their freshman year, Claude's dorm is almost as homey to him as his own. He knows from experience how comfortable sitting on Claude's bed like a couch is, where exactly he can find Claude's laptop, that there's probably at least one book in Claude's stack that's on the precipice of being overdue at the library. It may be a bit messy, no matter how many times he's offered to help Claude clean up or organize, but it definitely gives it a homey feeling as well.
It's why he's a bit surprised as he takes a seat on the bed, his back against the wall-lined pillows. Despite his words earlier, it's definitely nice to be off his feet and sitting after working so hard during his hockey practice.
And naturally, he doesn't let go of Claude's hand even as he responds, too.]
Just until the year ends? Were you thinking of changing dorms? [He figured Claude would just renew his hold on it. Did he want to upgrade to one of the nicer dorms, maybe? There are some that come with more space and amenities, after all—which Sylvain never failed to describe as a hit with the ladies, no matter Dimitri's disinterest.]
[To Claude, his own room is just organized chaos—despite the whirlwind, he actually does know where everything is. It's the sort of thing where cleaning it all up would actually make things worse because he'd forget the new place for them. At the very least, he keeps other parts of the room tidy enough to be presentable—the bed is made! And surely that counts for something. After all, he doesn't want to drive Dimitri off with being a slob, even if a lot of times, the mess is just because Claude is always trying to do so much.
But it's neither here nor there at the moment so long as Dimitri feels like he can get comfortable. As Dimitri takes the seat on the bed, Claude takes the extra step to his nightstand to grab the TV remote, lightly tossing it onto the mattress next to where he'll be sitting so that he won't need to move too much later just to turn it on. He wastes no time taking up the spot next to Dimitri and immediately resting some of his weight on Dimitri, all the while never letting go of his hand. Now that they're on the bed, he wants to get comfortable, he wants to take advantage of the fact that they are dating now. He no longer has to keep that awkward distance to not seem to pushy or make Dimitri uncomfortable. It's fine for him to want to cuddle up, isn't it?
They might still be navigating the things that are acceptable and comfortable in their new relationship, but he can't imagine that Dimitri won't enjoy this too. After all, it felt like the hardest part of things as their feelings for one another grew was the fact that every time they got too close, they'd be self-conscious or try to write it off as just something close friends do. Now that they don't have any pretenses, why hold back, right?]
Not sure yet. [Claude answers after a moment, closing his eyes as he ponders on it thoughtfully.] Well, nothing set in stone, at least. But I've been saving up to get an apartment off-campus... though I'm still not sure I'd be able to swing the rent on my own.
[Truth be told, the only thing that's really giving Claude hesitation now is that it'd be less convenient for them to get together that way. But Claude much prefers having a level of both freedom and privacy that the dorms don't afford, especially when he wants to come and go at all hours of the night based on his sleep schedule at any given time. Having even a slightly bigger space, a proper kitchen to do more than microwave things or store leftover fast food would be nice too, even if he's not much of a cook. There are a lot of reasons dorm life feels a little inflexible for his liking...
But he can't really settle on it yet, either. He really doesn't know if rent will be affordable, and none of his friends really have the same qualms with dorm life as he does. It'd be nice if Dimitri could be his roommate, but there's really no easy way to make that proposition seriously without coming on too strong. Maybe if they hadn't started dating, he could frame it as normal friendly roommates—but now that feels like it may be a little too serious, too soon to ask. At the very least, Claude doesn't seem too troubled by it.
If he has to stay in the dorms another year, there's a chance he may consider upgrading to a bigger space. None of it is serious or world-ending, but he just doesn't foresee that he'll be in this same room by the time they start their sophomore year.] That's all still months away, anyhow, so I haven't started making any real plans yet.
[Either way, he won't be too far. Even if it gets slightly more inconvenient to sneak over to each other's rooms, they'll make it work, so long as Dimitri is still interested in him by then!]
[Dimitri's lost count of the times where he wanted to be so close to Claude but felt it was inappropriate to do so. All those moments when he wanted to lean against Claude as they watched something, or hold Claude in his arms and vice versa, or wanting to lie down in bed together those whenever Claude fell asleep first after a long night of video gaming... Suffice to say that Dimitri enjoying cuddling up is a bit of an understatement, that happy flush remaining on his cheeks from the way Claude leans against him.
And with him so close, it feels so easy, so natural even, to shift his head a bit and press a kiss into Claude's hair before leaning back against him.]
I see... While it's sure to be more expensive than the dorms, I'm sure there must be apartments on the more affordable side here. [Garreg Mach may be a popular, storied city with a long history in many ways, but it is also just as much a college town. There must be apartment complexes geared towards university students like themselves, so maybe with enough searching, Claude would be able to find something suitable.
He'll have to do some research of his own and see what he can find. While he doesn't know Claude's budget, he could at least find a few affordable options and pose them to Claude... And maybe see if it's something he could afford to split with Claude. Admittedly, he was perfectly content to just renew his hold on the dorm at the end of the year. His room is certainly on the smaller side, but he's always been more of a practical person than not. It meets his needs right now, so there wasn't much reason to think about getting a bigger space.
But he can't pretend the idea of living with Claude doesn't make him happy. Part of him wants to ask right now, but that's probably moving a little too fast into things, right? They've only just started dating, and even if they've spent a lot of time together prior, that doesn't mean he knows how they'd be as roommates. If he asked now about moving into Claude's hypothetical apartment, it would probably come across as way too serious and eager. He doesn't want to scare Claude off like that!
... Even if the honest truth is that he really is that serious and eager about Claude.]
I'll be honest though, I'm glad that's months away. I like how close your dorm is to mine. An apartment sounds a little too far from you... [Right now, all it takes is a few steps for them to see each other. When it comes to seeing his boyfriend as much as possible, it's hard to beat that!]
[It's comfortable and cozy, and truly, exactly what Claude has wanted all along. While there are steps they've still yet to take together, every day since they've started dating has given them a little more leeway and allowance to be openly affectionate. Being able to just lean against Dimitri lets a warmth bloom in his heart that he'd never known in any other relationship—and that feel only seems to spread through his chest at the feeling of that kiss against his hair.
They're small gestures that go such a long way, and while Claude won't push for it or pressure Dimitri into anything? Part of him does hope that the leaning this way will shift into being wrapped in each other's arms, that maybe the night will grow late enough together that it'd be better for Dimitri to stay the night, and that maybe they can just stay comfortably on the bed, in that case. Any thoughts beyond that haven't quite entered his mind because of how soon it is, and going at Dimitri's pace is something Claude takes pretty seriously, all things considered. But now that they're dating, he doesn't see the harm in spending the night together, close and cozy. If Dimitri is okay with taking at least those steps, he'd be completely content to have those small changes.
The night is young, though. They've barely even gotten settled to decide just how they'll be spending the evening. They haven't even made dinner plans yet, let alone figure out the evening. So for the time being, he's content to soak in it all as they talk.]
Probably, but my budget's still a little tight. My parents aren't gonna be willing to foot the bill on that one. [He laughs a little; he's clearly not bothered by that. It seems like a fair enough compromise that if Claude wants to live off-campus, then he has to pay for that choice. They pay his tuition and on-campus room and board, but if he doesn't like what they offer, he's on his own.
Which just means he needs to figure out the rest on his own. That's why he hasn't committed to his plans yet, and why he's considering hos options and what would be best in the long run. He can't deny that Dimitri being just steps away is a point in the dorms' favor.]
Well, even if I end up being a little farther away, you'd still come visit, right? There'd be a lot more room to stretch out instead of trying to use one of these little mattresses as a sofa. [He tries to play it down a little, but he does worry the inconvenience would keep Dimitri away. Part of why their relationship has been able flourish has been because they're able to be so close all the time. Would that change if Claude moves off-campus?
He's not sure. Ideally, a time would come where they'd be able to live together—but it's too soon to seriously suggest that. They'd be moving way too fast, logically speaking. And scaring Dimitri off by being too pushy would actually be even worse than just about anything else. But Claude will be Claude, which is why he can easily frame it as a lighthearted joke.] I mean, who knows? Maybe by then, I'll be in the market for a roommate, or you'll be the one in the market to get off campus a bit more.
[An invitation without really being an invitation. A light proposition at best, something Dimitri can mull over for a few months. And maybe if they're still together by then, it wouldn't be a bad thing to consider. It's not like having roommates to split the rent with is all that strange, especially for university students, right? It doesn't even have to be tied to the fact that they're dating...
He isn't going to get his hopes up, but it at least makes for fun conversation. It's not as if Claude could possibly know that Dimitri would seriously consider it, or that he wants to be around and with Claude just as much as Claude wants to do the very same with him.]
[Claude tries to downplay his worries, but Dimitri's grip around his hand tightens almost as if on instinct. It's not like Claude is doubting the strength of his feelings of course, yet all the same, Dimitri can't let even a hint of doubt stand!]
Of course I would still come visit you. There's very little that could keep me from doing so. [In his mind right now, it'd really just be things like emergencies, being sick, or being out of town for other things. He'd rather not get Claude sick with a cold just because he wanted to see him, after all... Even if the loneliness of not seeing Claude during then is undoubtedly a hardship, one he isn't particularly keen to go through again even if it's not like he can avoid getting sick his whole life. Being able to talk to Claude only through little notes or online calls was hard, okay!] Keep me posted on how your search goes though. I can't say moving out of the dorms is something I've thought about... But that doesn't mean it'll stay that way.
[It's hard to say right now. While his athletics scholarship helps a lot when it comes to school expenses, that doesn't mean he has enough cash lying around on hand right now for renting an apartment. Getting a part-time job would of course be an option, but then there'd be finding a way to balance that with what's already a fairly busy schedule. Of course, it's not like he has to move in with Claude if he finds an apartment; depending on the distance, switching in a walk or bike ride to Claude's place would make for a good part of his workout routine. If Claude ended up with a different roommate though to afford rent, Dimitri can't pretend he wouldn't be jealous over that...
Well, it's all a lot of hypotheticals right now. It'd be weird if he told Claude just how seriously he was considering it, right? There's no guarantee on where things will be within the next couple months, and it's not like they know if Claude will find an affordable apartment or not. Besides, their relationship really is so new still... Common sense dictates that it'd probably be pretty foolish to move in together so quickly.
Never mind that he never seems to have any common sense when it comes to Claude, but for now, that's neither here nor there.]
[It does somehow manage to be soothing in a way. Claude wasn't really looking for reassurance, but yet that one he's given seems to melt him like butter. He settles in a little further, his weight relaxing easily against Dimitri's frame. For a brief moment, he closes his eyes, a smile remaining on his lips as he just listens to how Dimitri responds to his indirect proposal.]
I would've done that either way, you know. [His response comes with a warmly amused laugh.] I'd be a pretty terrible boyfriend if I just decided to move farther away without telling you a thing.
[Claude knows he isn't the best communicator about some things in his life, but he's nowhere near that closed off. Regardless of whether or not Dimitri wants to move in with him at any point, he still intends on relying on Dimitri for moral support at the very least. Someone to come look at apartments he's considering, or help him track down some cheap furniture that falls within his budget—the small sort of things that one should rely on their partner for. He won't put the pressure on Dimitri about moving in together; right now it's just a playful seed to plant, but even come the time when he's ready to move, he'll just want Dimitri's company and support as he navigates taking some new steps in his life.]
Either way, no need to think too hard on it now. It's not like you have to think about moving out of the dorms. It has its benefits, so it's not like there's anything wrong with it. [He just really doesn't want Dimitri to feel rushed or pressured. After all, what kind of boyfriend would he be if he did something like that? He wants Dimitri to make those choices on his own terms, when the time is right. They're still learning to navigate their relationship, so asking for too much else would be silly. They've got months to see if maybe that sort of arrangement would even make sense for them.
(But he'd much rather have Dimitri for a roommate than one of his other friends or a random stranger.)] And if things change...
[He hums quietly, as if to let Dimitri know he's not shutting down any possibility or want—just that he is trying to take things at a pace that makes sense for them.] Figuring things out together is what couples do, right?
[He also wants to make it clear that he very much so enjoys being able to call them a couple, now that they actually are one, rather than dancing around the formalities.]
I know, I know. [He says it on a gentle laugh, his own heart melting a little yet fluttering all the same when Claude settles against him even further. It feels so cozy and warm; even if Claude was being a "terrible boyfriend" right this moment, Dimitri thinks it would be hard not to forgive him when he's so terribly endearing!] I trust that you'll tell me should the time come. After all, I'd almost certainly be your best help when it comes to moving furnishing around.
[It's easy to poke a bit of fun of himself, and naturally, he has every intention of doing all the heavy lifting should Claude need it if and when he moves! Really though, he's not actually worried about Claude springing a move on him out of nowhere. While he's heard things here and there from some of Claude's friends like Hilda and Lorenz, it's still a little hard to believe their views of Claude being a little closed off or anything of that nature. Communication may not always be perfect because nothing is, but for as long as he's known Claude, he's been nothing but genuine and sincere with him.
That's why he isn't worried about Claude rushing or pressuring him about moving either. Really, Dimitri knows he's often the one person putting the most pressure on himself for anything... But objectively he knows Claude wouldn't force him to make a choice like that if he wasn't ready to. It's only his own impatience and feelings for Claude that make him want to be a little more reckless and throw caution to the wind so they could have their own private space together. There's no need to get ahead of himself though, and he knows it. Claude isn't completely decided yet anyways, and there's still plenty of time for Dimitri to think on it as well.
Although any thinking he might be doing comes to a screeching halt when Claude calls them a couple. It's silly, and Dimitri knows it, but he can't help the way his cheeks flush at Claude stating aloud that simple fact.]
But you're right. Tackling those sorts of changes and challenges together... Surely that's what couples are meant to do in the first place.
[Dimitri pauses, almost a little awkwardly or even hesitantly; it's clear he means to say more, but it takes him a short moment to get there. Instead, he sinks a little more into Claude's hair, taking advantage of their closeness to just breathe Claude in a little bit... Or maybe it's to hide his face a little when his cheeks feel so flushed and hot.]
... I like it. Being a couple, I mean. [It's a bit embarrassing. He knows he's overreacting a bit, just hearing Claude call them a couple. It just... makes him so happy though. To know that they're not dancing around formalities anymore, that he doesn't have to worry about what Claude's feelings are or that his own might ruin their friendship.]
I'll need all the help I can get! These noodly arms of mine aren't doing the heavy lifting anytime soon!
[His words come with a playful laugh. While it's true that Dimitri's strength far outweighs his, it's not like Claude is really weak either. He's definitely been building up muscle and getting more toned since he started taking his archery more seriously. He was definitely a bit more scrawny in high school, and even at the start of moving into the dorms, he hadn't grown all that much. But Claude is, in fact, a growing boy who takes his fitness seriously enough!
Not hockey player, intense athlete serious, but enough so that he still wants to excel with the sport he's chosen. Still, he knows there are few better candidates to help him move furniture. Raphael would willingly help, and if he had to, he could ask Balthus or even Holst for help. But he'd really rather avoid that, because he really doesn't need to discover new ways that either of them can find to embarrass him in public. Besides, he really does want every chance he can possibly get to spend time with Dimitri. After all, he has no idea how long this will really last.
Which just makes him more prone to settling in against Dimitri, ready to wholly embrace the closeness and the way Dimitri too, seems to want to stay this way. Every time they address their status as a couple, it seems like the heat rises to both their cheeks. It's young love to be sure, but Claude has never really felt this way about anyone he's dated or slept with. He's never felt so content to stay so close, never felt like he just fit with another person in quite this way.
And maybe that's what makes that warmth bloom in his chest when Dimitri finally says that he likes being a couple. Dimitri may worry that he's overreacting, but hearing it this way is like having his own feelings mirrored. It gives him a sense of warmth and acceptance and that reminder that Dimitri really does feel the same way he does about this.]
I like it, too. Even more than I would've ever thought. [Even leaving aside how nice it is to stop dancing around the formalities and trying to figure out where to draw the line—it goes beyond that.
It's the fact that he's always eager to see Dimitri. That he looks forward to when they meet up, and always feels disappointed when they have to part. It's the way his heart races when Dimitri can smile at him so brightly. It's the way when Dimitri seems stressed or upset, he just wants to drop everything he's doing to help.
That's never happened to him before. Dates felt like obligation after a while, he felt stressed trying to provide comfort or consolation to someone who needed his to be emotionally open. If things started feeling too serious, he'd feel the need to back away and distance himself. Ultimately, he was beginning to feel like he simply wasn't suited to relationships and was better off with casual flings to meet his needs. So now, having this? It feels like a whole new world is opening up in front of him that he didn't even think was possible for him.] I'm sure not every challenge will be fun, but... I think if I'm tackling it with you, things will work out.
[Somehow, with Dimitri... Everything always just feels right. He's never been one to believe in fate or anything like that, and yet, it just seems they slot together so naturally that they can make anything work if they're together.]
I wouldn't call your arms noodly, especially if it's just because they don't quite match up to my strength.
[It comes with an easy chuckle, knowing Claude is just joking. Still, it's not a fair comparison, and he knows it! Even putting aside how seriously he takes athletics, his Crest-given strength isn't anything any normal person could match up to. Honestly, it still baffles him how he even has it when there haven't been any Crest-bearers in ages... But if nothing else, it'll make him good help for whenever Claude moves!
Not that it's anything to worry about right this moment anyways. With Claude settling in against him, the only thing on his mind is how comfortable and warm he feels. Spending time together always felt like that even before they started dating, but now, there isn't any of the trepidation of wondering if maybe there could be more, wondering what Claude would do if he shifted to hold Claude's hand or kiss him on the lips. Instead, he can hold Claude's hand whenever he wants, just like he is right now. As for kissing...
Well, even with dating, it's somehow still a little nerve-wracking at times, but he at least knows it's mostly all in his head. Claude has yet to turn a kiss down so far, and so long as that remains the case, then it's just up to Dimitri to work up the nerve for it. Right now at least, it's becoming easier and easier for him to offer other little affections, which he happily does by pressing another kiss into Claude's hair.]
Good, I'm glad. [Objectively, he knows it's not like Claude has been unhappy in their relationship, but still! It makes him happy to hear that Claude likes being together with him in this way. Especially when he knows that relationships like these aren't exactly typical for Claude, the fact that he's still enjoying himself is more than enough to make Dimitri happy too. After all, it's not like he has much knowledge or expertise with this, so if Claude didn't like being a couple, he'd probably be panicking looking for a way to try and fix that.] It might be impossible for every challenge to be fun, but so long as we're together, I'm sure we'll find a way to manage.
Including the challenge of deciding what we'll do tonight, it seems. [He's only teasing of course, but he's not sure if Claude had anything in mind! They could play games, or maybe watch something together? There are one or two things they're in the middle of, yet that's never stopped them from picking up something new either.]
I mean, they're kinda noodly. Not, like, Lorenz levels of noodly but I'm pretty sure they're close to spaghetti!
[He's laughing, so it's obvious he still isn't too serious! Still, compared to a lot of people in Claude's life, he really doesn't have that bulkier build. Balthus undoubtedly takes after their dad in that respect. Nader is pretty bulky, as are Holst and Raphael. And then there's Dimitri, of course—who may not be quite like them, but makes Claude look small in comparison!
It doesn't really bother him, but it's something he's aware of. Naturally, the fact Dimitri has such strong arms is a point in his favor, because he finds he likes the security of being held close in those arms. The idea of Crest strength doesn't even really occur to him, since the appearance of them was rare enough even in the times when they were heavily relied upon in Fódlan.
(He also doesn't consider that his own stamina and how it seems to shine best during his archery tournaments and practices could be tied to a Crest; the notion of Riegan blood coursing through his veins is nothing more than a goofy fantasy he's had in admirations here and there.)]
As for what to do tonight... Why not just play it by ear? We can order in some food when you're hungry, watch a movie...
[Maybe make out for a while? Honestly, that's mostly where Claude is going with this. Not that he intends for things to go too far, but he's craving a bit of Dimitri's affection right now. Better to just put on a movie in the background that might not matter too much if they inevitably get distracted by trading kisses? They've got all the time in the world to finish watching the shows they've started or making progress in the game they've been playing! Going about things by playing the night fast and loose sounds a bit more fun to him.
Claude's definitely not shy with his intentions, and without even saying it directly, there's undeniably an undertone that he probably wants to spend some time doing things that they can only do now that they're actually a couple. At the very least, Dimitri doesn't have to leave any room for worry that Claude isn't fully invested in what they have going on right now.]
The only way your arms could be so noodly they're spaghetti is if— [Taking advantage of their intertwined hands, Dimitri vigorously (but gently enough so as to not accidentally hurt Claude) shakes his arm like a wave, thus rendering Claude's arm into just as much of a wavy noodle.] They were doing this all the time.
[He knows it's not something Claude seriously worries about, but he's just saying! The only way to have real noodle arms is to be like this. Whether Claude had literal spaghetti for arms though or not, Dimitri would like him regardless. Having similar strength or fitness as he does was never something he considered to be a priority in finding someone attractive. Of course, he never really personally felt someone was attractive until Claude anyways... So it all works out regardless!
(Besides, trying to hold someone to the same standard of strength he has would be unfair. He still remembers his parents taking him to the doctor as a child for them to conduct Hanneman's Test after accidentally breaking so many things at home and school. Toys, silverware, tables, playground equipment... Granted, it took a few tries as the pediatrician had to read off a manual to properly run the test having never done so before, but it gave him a sure diagnosis and identification of having the Crest of Blaiddyd. A rarity to be sure, although it was also common knowledge that House Blaiddyd had plenty of branches and descendants outside of the famed King Dimitri.)
But at Claude's suggestion, all thoughts of noodles and strength fly out from Dimitri's head. There's nothing particularly suggestive or illicit about the words themselves, of course, but Dimitri can just tell where Claude is really going with this.]
Oh, um, sure! We can just... play it by ear. I'm still not hungry yet, so I guess for now we can... Pick and movie, and then, uh. Just, you know, relax...
[Is it really worth getting this worked up and nervous when he knows that Claude probably just wants to kiss a bit? Not really, yet it sends his heart racing all the same. Not because of disinterest—after all the times Dimitri struggled not to kiss Claude during their hangouts, he'd love nothing more than to freely be able to do that.
Still, he feels so new to all of this. Claude seems to like the little chaste kisses he's offered, but he's never made out with someone before. He doesn't know how. What if he's not good at it? What if Claude doesn't like it? What if him being a bad kisser makes Claude lose interest in him? Not that he thinks Claude would be so shallow as that, but if he disappoints Claude by being bad at kissing, he'll never forgive himself.
For all his nervous overthinking though, his hand remains tightly entwined with Claude's. He really likes the idea of exchanging affections. He's just also very concerned over whether or not Claude will really like kissing him when he's so inexperienced.]
[For a moment, Claude can't help but to laugh at the silly way Dimitri moves him arm in order to make a point. it's something so small and trivial—and yet incredibly cute and charming in equal measure. The little things like this are what have made Claude fall hard for this awkward Faerghan boy, and truly? He wouldn't want it to be any other way. After all, these are the moments that remind him why it was worth pursuing, and why he'll do anything he can to make sure Dimitri is happy and comfortable in his presence.
All of that goes out the window pretty quickly as Dimitri begins to react to Claude's suggestions. For a moment, he remains quiet with little more than a pleased, encouraging smile on his lips—he's giving Dimitri some time to sort out what he wants and is comfortable with rather than acting so decisively.
Were this a past relationship, Claude would've likely skipped all these formalities. He'd have been quick (and likely right) to assume his partner was looking to skip the meal and use the movie as nothing more than background noise to drown out the sounds of desire that someone on the other side of the wall might catch. There wouldn't be hand-holding this way, but Claude crawling into their lap, or perhaps pulling them into his and asserting what they both want.
But this isn't a past relationship. It's Dimitri. And because of that? Claude wants to do things right. He wants to make sure he goes at Dimitri's pace, make sure he's comfortable with any steps forward they take, and make sure that his own experience only helps Dimitri grow more comfortable with Claude in these situations. He has no issue with Dimitri being inexperienced—there's something fun and exciting about knowing he gets to be the one who guides Dimitri through these experiences. If there's anything he's concerned about, it's the notion that his own, excessive experience might intimidate Dimitri or scare him off once things escalate. It's a concern that for now he is always doing his best to keep at bay, but there's little denying that going slow is new to Claude. And he really, really doesn't want to mess that up.]
Sounds like a good enough start to me. We can order something once we get hungry. [His smile widens a bit, still soft, maybe with just a hint of mischief.] We can start with the movie, and the relaxing.
[Though in this case, he does mean relaxing, because he can tell Dimitri is a little nervous. He's not sure if it's the inexperience, Claude's abundant experience, if he's uncomfortable with escalating their affections any—but he definitely wants Dimitri to be able to unwind with him. With their hands still intertwined this way, Claude gives Dimitri's hand a gentle squeeze.] No reason to rush, right? ...Since we don't need to be up early for any classes or anything like that.
[They've got all night, for whatever it may entail.]
[The way Claude laughs only makes Dimitri's smile grow. Being able to make Claude laugh and smile like this has so quickly become one of his favorite things. If takes being a little silly to get that? Then he's more than happy to be silly!
Even if his nerves make him feel silly for an entirely different reason. While he's heard bits and pieces of Claude's past dating history (one of the many times he's wished El wasn't so overprotective, if only so she didn't have Hubert be so terrifying), he would never be so judgmental as to call Claude's experience "excessive." Still, it would be a lie to say that he isn't a bit intimidated by it... But only because he genuinely worries he could be boring to Claude.
Objectively, he knows there's no reason to think that. Everything about the way they've spent time together till now indicates the exact opposite, and from the warm, encouraging smile on Claude's face only further proves. Still, much like Claude, he's a little terrified of potentially messing this up. Maybe Claude isn't bored of him right now, but surely he expects something different when it comes to a relationship. What if that's something Dimitri doesn't know how to provide when Claude wants or needs it? He can see the slant of mischief in Claude's grin, and it's all too easy to imagine what that could entail—but Dimitri doesn't know if he can match up to whatever Claude may have in mind.
When Claude squeezes his hand so gently though, the frantic thoughts swirling in his head finally start to slow down. It could almost be funny, how Claude seems to be both the reason for his heart racing and why it calms down. Somehow, Claude's presence just has a way of helping him settle, whether from his own nerves or anything else.]
Right. Well... As long as you don't think there is, then there's no need to rush at all. [There's something just the faintest bit hesitant in Dimitri's gaze, or maybe even worried. It's a little too embarrassing to say it straight, but he just wants to make sure that Claude really doesn't mind if he's a little slower with this.
Maybe only a little slower though. Even if he can't pretend he isn't at least a bit nervous, he still scoots himself closer to Claude on the bed. While it might be a little soon for him crawl into Claude's lap or vice versa, there's no denying that he wants to be closer to Claude. As close as someone might want to be with their boyfriend.] We can take our time with the movie... And with relaxing, too.
[However the rest of the night ends up going, as long as Claude is happy and comfortable, he thinks that'll help him genuinely relax as well.]
[It gives Claude a bit of conflicting feelings—not because anything is actively wrong, of course.
But seeing Dimitri's smile widen should be just enough... and it's not. Because he can also sense that faint hesitation, seeing the worry in his gaze. And really? It's not as if Claude can say Dimitri's feelings aren't justified. They've spent enough time together for Claude to understand that exploring these feelings is something new for Dimitri—and that Dimitri has every reason to have any measure of trepidation. Even if Claude is doing his best to be reassuring, it clearly isn't quite enough. In that respect, there's a realization that he needs to do more in order to ensure Dimitri knows it's okay.
Whatever trepidation he has—whether because of his own concerns of being inexperienced, or because he worries said inexperience would be some kind of deterrent to Claude—he needs to ease it. And if words aren't enough, then it stands to reason that he needs to do something, take some kind of action to assuage those concerns. Which... well, it's a bit easier said than done when he's really doing his best to respect Dimitri's boundaries and his pace. Not being able to rely on what he's always used in these situations is more challenging than he had initially anticipated, even if it's a challenge he'd like to rise up to face head-on.
How? Well, he can try to figure that out as he goes. These thoughts are all barreling through his mind at a frantic pace, jumbled and scattered in ways that only Claude himself would ever be able to reasonably decipher.]
That's right. Don't they say it's about the journey and not the destination? [Okay, so it's not really much in the way of action, but Dimitri seems to have a way of stumping him, of flustering him out of doing what he'd normally do, so he simply doesn't have actions for this just yet, barring the way he embraces Dimitri scooting closer. He closes his eyes contentedly as he leans his head against Dimitri's shoulder, relaxing a bit more. It's almost like a silent signal to Dimitri: he's comfortable this way. There's nothing to worry about aside just having each other's company.] No reason to rush through the best parts just to see the end result.
[The best parts, of course, being the fact that they can just exist this way, without dancing around their feelings or what they want. They don't have to worry about one-sided attraction or accidentally crossing lines that just friends simply shouldn't do under normal circumstances.
(And who knew it could really be just that easy? This is all brand new information to Claude, after all.)]
ignoring how embarrassingly long this took me (and it's not even the worst offender)
[It's a bit of a conundrum. The fact that Claude is so respectful of his boundaries is something Dimitri takes a great deal of comfort in... But at the same time, without a little bit of push and pull, he also just doesn't have the experience to really know quite what to do. Part of him wonders if maybe he should simply ask, to not dance around this so much and be more direct as he tends to prefer when it comes to most things. Somehow though, the idea of it all just seems so embarrassing. Surely if he likes Claude so much and wants to get to know him as best he can, he should be able to gleam something this simple on his own, right?
Of course, what he doesn't realize either is that for all that their relationship has been fast and furious and out of the ordinary, this part of it is more typical. For things to be a little awkward here and there as they get to know each other in this new way, stumbling around a bit in trying to express these feelings he's never felt before... On an objective level, Dimitri knows these things, but with things still being so new, it's yet to really sink in that it would extend to the physical aspects of their relationship as well.
For the moment though, he tries his best to push that nervousness from his mind. Claude leans his head against him so easily after he scooted closer, his heart practically blooming in warmth because of it. Despite not saying anything, Claude makes his message plenty clear: Dimitri knows that he's comfortable, at ease, relaxed. He can tell immediately that Claude likes being here with him like this, and as leans his head against Claude's, a wide grin spreading across his face, he knows he likes being here together like this just as much.]
I certainly hope so. In some ways, it felt like such a journey just to reach where we are... But I'd rather this journey never end at all.
[And just like that, all of Dimitri's attempts to relax and push his nerves aside come crashing to a halt.
That wasn't—was that too forward? Too much? Did he basically just say he never wants their relationship to end? It's all true of course, there's a part of him that already thinks they could get married tomorrow and he'd be the happiest man on earth for the rest of his life—But isn't it far too early to say something like that so new into a relationship? Maybe there's a platonic way to interpret it, even though they're talking in the context of their romantic relationship so probably not. Granted, if they did actually break up, Dimitri's sure he would so desperately want to remain friends even if his heart remained shattered and broken for the rest of his life—
While Claude's thoughts are jumbled and scattered, Dimitri's are shooting off at the speed of light in an embarrassed, flustered whirlwind of emotions.]
I, um— That is— [He groans, lifting his head away from Claude so he can bury it in his free hand instead.] Sorry, I don't even know what I'm saying anymore...
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those early relationship butterflies
It's the same sort of message Dimitri's sent Claude every Thursday this past semester. Hanging out quickly became a regular habit right from the very beginning of their student careers at Garreg Mach University, especially given how many 100-level classes they shared. While their class picks for the next semester didn't quite match each other so perfectly, that wasn't a reason to stop popping by each others' dorm rooms or a long movie or game day on the weekends. It just meant that while Dimitri finished class a good few hours later compared to Claude on Thursdays, he would send Claude a text asking if he wanted to hang out once he finished. Sometimes that meant grabbing a quick bite for dinner somewhere, and other times it meant a study session to trade notes on their shared history class with Professor Seteth. When Claude cajoled him into being particularly irresponsible, it meant staying up too late in one of their dorms, regardless of the fact that Claude had a morning Friday class while Dimitri had the day off.
He can't even count the times he's messaged Claude like this now. If he so much as scrolled up, he knows he'd find this exact text from him dozens of times, albeit buried between the rest of their long and varied conversations.
Yet somehow, he can't quite bring himself to press send. He stares down at the words he's written a dozen times, wondering if this is how he should be asking his boyfriend to spend time together.
Objectively, he knows this shouldn't really change how he talks to Claude. The whole reason they're dating now is because neither of them could keep their feelings bottled up any longer, that no matter how much time they spent together as friends, they both still wanted more every time they were together. In that sense, maybe Dimitri shouldn't even have to ask if Claude wants to spend time together... But it's not as if he wants to assume or impose either. Just because they're dating now doesn't mean he can selfishly take all of Claude's time.
... No matter that he genuinely wishes he could. Sometimes, he thinks he could never have enough of Claude's time to himself, but he knows that would be ridiculous. Both because it would be impossible and because he's clearly jumping the gun about his feelings. El's always said he gets carried away by his emotions too easily, and she's usually right. Dimitri's perfectly happy with his relationship with Claude right now, so no need to risk messing things up so soon by scaring Claude away with the strength of his feelings.
Although in that regard, "Hanging out today?" simply doesn't seem strong enough. Maybe not much has changed about their relationship in an objective sense, but surely this isn't the same as a casual hangout like it was before. He hits backspace on the second sentence, hardly looking up as he makes his way back to the dorms.
Just finished class. Can I come see you?
No, absolutely not, even Dimtiri knows it comes across way too strongly and needy. Sure, it's the real matter he's trying to get to, but no one likes it when someone's that desperate, right? Claude is always so laidback and easygoing, he'd probably think Dimitri pathetic, or even worse, weird for asking so directly.
He tries again.
Just finished class. Do you want to grab dinner?
It's not bad, probably. Casual enough to not come on too strong, he thinks, but also something that could easily be turned into a proper date if he took Claude somewhere in Garreg Mach proper rather than just somewhere on campus. The only problem is that his stomach feels so twisted in knots and butterflies, he doesn't actually have any appetite, and he already knows Claude would immediately pick that up and worry over him. While they haven't actually known each other all that long, Claude somehow seems to have a sixth sense for whenever something is troubling him.
One more try then. He types it out, feet stopping on the pathway into the dorm as he reviews the message. It feels casual enough to not be frightening, but also just different enough where there's clearly some different intent aside from their usual hangouts. Or so he thinks at least, and he presses send before he has time to second guess himself.]
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Even though it isn't really the start of the weekend for him when he still has class on Fridays, it still feels like something of a reward for getting through the week. A tease for the full weekend where they can really spend their time together, and something to give Claude a little more motivation to get through his Friday work when he knows that Dimitri has the luxury of a day off.
He knows it's a little silly, which is why he hasn't explicitly ever stated how much he looks forward to it. He simply offers his affirmative text responses so they can make plans with little fuss. At least, that's how it seems.
But the reality is that every single time is phone vibrates during the day on a Thursday, he is scrambling to check his notifications and see if it's Dimitri. And through most of the day, it's all for naught. Texts from his other friends, stupid meme messages from Balthus, spam emails and an assortment of social media reply notifications. None of them are quite what he ever wants on a Thursday. He wants to hear from Dimitri. And maybe that should seem like the natural response for an exciting new relationship—but that makes it even more novel for Claude.
After all, he's never been in a relationship like this before. He's been in his fair share of them, but he'd be lying if he said he'd ever felt strongly about anything in them. They were fun and interesting... until they weren't. Then they were boring and he would put an end to it. There was no real thrill to just getting a simple text, and every last one of those relationships had fizzled out much quicker than how lasting the feelings toward Dimitri have been. It's the first time in his life where he can really understand the notion of actually having butterflies.
Which does make it a bit too embarrassing to admit. He doesn't really know how to say that the only way he'd refuse Dimitri's desire to spend time together is if it's physically impossible to do so. He doesn't know how to say that he waits f or that message every week. Or that he looks forward to every moment they get to go on a date, or just sit around together. If Balthus and Cyril saw him in this state, they'd never let him live it down. Hell, he's going through enough with just Hilda and Lorenz picking up on the fact that he's pretty serious about Dimitri.
...So naturally, he tries to play it cool when that text finally arrives. Even though his heart immediately starts to race when he sees the notif is from Dimitri. Even though he notices the slightly different wording that shows Dimitri is putting thought into how they interact just a little differently now that they're officially dating. It immediately brings a bright, unfiltered grin to his lips. Still, he resolves to wait a whole two minutes before responding, if only to not seem like he was waiting as desperately for a text from Dimitri as he is.]
[He sends that first, but then immediately types a second message, because he apparently does not actually have his thoughts organized enough to say it all at once. Playing it cool? Well, he's trying. Tonally it might seem that way, but that flutter of butterflies is a little more intense than it used to be.]
[...Nailed it.]
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Part of him knows it's a little silly to be so excited about something so mundane. Looking forward to the weekend was one thing, sure, but before Claude, he never thought he could be this excited to do the same thing he always does with the same person at the same time. Honestly, he thinks they could just be sitting next to one another at a library all day, he'd look forward to that with the same excitement. Even with all the family and friends he cherishes dearly in his life, he never thought that just seeing someone could make him so happy.
When it comes to Claude though, he simply is. It's almost strange, how jarringly new it all is; after all, after making it through high school with nothing more than fictional crushes and a few awkward dates, he honestly figured that maybe real life romance just wasn't for him. It was hard to picture himself in a romantic relationship with someone, and neither did he think he was missing much from it. Meeting Claude changed all of that, and in the months that have passed since they first met, it's only changed more and more.
Which is why Dimitri absolutely struggles to play it cool. Even after locking his phone and continuing his way into the dorms, he keeps a tight grip on it, as if trying to ensure he won't miss the vibration of a new message. He tells himself not to keep himself glued to his phone, that Claude could be away from his phone, that he could be napping as he's so wont to do. It's perfectly normal even for Claude not to respond right away, Dimitri knows this from experience. Claude may be a bit "terminally online," or so he describes himself as, but that doesn't mean he's constantly glued to his phone either.
But the moment his phone vibrates and chimes with a new notification, Dimitri slams his dorm door behind him, rushing to his bed as he unlocks his phone. Unsurprisingly, it's a new text from Claude, but it's still more than enough to have Dimitri happily kicking his feet against his bed frame, a grin splitting across his face. It's not even like he expected Claude to be disinterested, but knowing Claude wants to see him, even if it's just this little way...
It makes Dimitri happy. So, so much happier than he ever thought possible. The butterflies that were in his stomach feel like they're fluttering in his heart now instead with how light it feels. Honestly, he can't even respond just yet, even though he easily and happily could. All he can do for a moment is simply stare at his phone, his feet still kicking lightly against his bed, feeling giddier than he's ever felt in his life. There have been times where certain novels or games would make him feel something similar, but none of those could even hope to hold a candle to this.
And that's all without even seeing Claude. Honestly, he needs to try and rein this in, if only so he doesn't completely embarrass himself in front of Claude. They've only been dating for a little while now, and he'd hate to do anything to ruin that. If he did something so embarrassing or weird that Claude decided to break up with him, he'd never forgive himself.
Alright, enough getting worked up over nothing! There's still only so much of the evening left, and despite Dimitri's selfish wishes he keeps to himself, he doesn't want to make Claude stay up late when he has class tomorrow.]
[Really, he probably should be hungry, or at least start to get hungry very soon, but his eagerness to see Claude overpowers all of that. His stomach may not be twisted in knots any longer, but there's still a fluttering that hides any hunger he might be feeling.]
[Normally, he'd end it there. Claude's room is only a few down from his own, after all, so it's not like there's much waiting between Dimitri's text and him knocking on Claude's door. Even before they started dating, it's not like he wanted to see overeager for something as mundane as watching movies together.
... But again, it's about showing how things are different now, right? So after another moment, he sends one more text.]
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Every other relationship fizzled out because that thrill and fun never lasts. He's always found himself unable to emotionally connect with any partner on deeper level—and it wasn't as if he only intentionally sought to have such shallow relationships. He's dated kind, smart, funny, talented people only to break up with them knowing they deserved something better than he could offer them. At some point, that had morphed into Claude not really trying at all.
Until Dimitri, of course. Dimitri feels like a missing puzzle piece slotting its place into his heart. Claude isn't even sure how it's possible or how to make sense of it—but from the moment they met, everything just felt right. Sure, he can chalk some of that up to the physical attraction, because Dimitri is the most beautiful person he's ever seen in his entire life. That was the initial draw, but talking to Dimitri immediately charmed him in a way he'd never felt before. There's just something about him that feels special, that feels right to Claude, and it fills his chest with warmth.
Of course, it does also make him a little anxious to see what Dimitri has to say in response to his own message. Does he come across all right? Does he seem too cool? Did he reply too fast and look desperate? It's a little too easy to dwell on those things, so as soon as he presses send on the text, he launches himself off the bed and toward his mirror, wasting no time to re-braid his hair and put a bit of hair product in the loose strands to carefully tousle it a bit more. Looking effortless take more effort than Claude will ever really admit, but that's neither here nor there, right?
If only Dimitri could see how much effort Claude is really putting in—or the way he scrambles to grab his phone off the bed when he hears the buzzing against the mattress. Another smile creeps to his lips just seeing Dimitri's messages. He starts to type a response to the first two messages:
We can decide later, then. No big
...Not that he finishes typing, because as soon as Dimitri adds that third message, he's a little taken with it. Usually, Dimitri just leaves it at letting Claude know when he'll be over. "See you soon!" It's so...]
...Cute. [He murmurs aloud, that bright smile dialing back to something warm and endeared. After a long moment, he backspaces what he'd been writing and takes a short moment to consider what he should say. Just reacting, sending a gif or saying "okay, see you soon," feels disproportionate. Even though there was nothing particularly affectionate about Dimitri's choice in words, they've been hanging out long enough for Claude to immediately recognize the extra effort Dimitri is putting in. So what he sends after a moment is a simple:]
[No punctuation and a wink emoji—playful and whimsical enough, right? Surely Dimitri will know that it means Claude is thrilled to see him.]
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In that sense, he understands why the people close to him worry after him a bit. He couldn't blame El's shock when he confessed to her he had a crush on Claude, or even Sylvain's faint concern about him rushing into things just because it's his first crush. If he could look at himself from the outside in, he'd probably share in similar feelings just from an objective point of view.
He can't help the way he feels though, how his heart always flutters when he sees Claude, the way his feet feel just a little lighter when he knows he's heading to see him. It's not something he could control or stop even if he wanted to, not with how overwhelmingly powerful his feelings are.
Including silly feelings like wanting to make sure he looks his best when he sees Claude. After sending off his last message, he immediately gets himself ready for their hangout. For something as casual as hanging out in the dorms, it really shouldn't take all that much to get ready. He always showers after hockey practice at the gym anyways, so all he really needs to do is change into more comfortable clothes if he wants. If he was hanging out with any of his other friends, that would certainly be it; he's never been particularly self-conscious about his appearance, after all. For Claude though, he makes sure to wash his face and comb through his hair, making sure it's styled just right. Things that he never would've taken such care for, but even for something as simple as watching movies in Claude's room, it's somehow an absolute must.
He's in the middle of changing into sweat shorts when he hears his phone go off again, and he can only be grateful he doesn't room with anyone, if only so no one has to see the way he nearly trips with his shorts around his ankles when he scrambles for his phone. It's worth it though to see Claude's reply though, no matter that it's only a single line of text. Somehow, that little wink emoji seems so perfectly suited for Claude, and Dimitri could easily imagine him doing just that when he gets to Claude's. Even more exciting is knowing that Claude really is looking forward to seeing him. It's not like he ever thought otherwise, or that Claude wasn't having fun when they hung out...
But it's different actually seeing it, knowing it. It's different now that he doesn't just have to hope and wonder if Claude wants to see him as badly as he wants to see Claude.
It's late enough for there to not be too many people milling about in the dorms, which means Claude might hear the sound of quick, rushing footsteps heading towards his door. Did Dimitri rush through getting changed after Claude's last text just to head over and see him that much sooner? Well, Claude will simply have to see for himself once Dimitri knocks, his voice ever so faintly breathless as he calls through the door:]
Claude? It's Dimitri.
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Somehow, even though he's ready? He doesn't feel ready.
It just goes back to that sensation of experiencing all these feelings for the first time. Planning dates and casual hangouts has never been exciting for him in this way; Claude can't recall a time with anyone else where just hearing footsteps could make his heart throb in this way.
And even though Claude is already standing right at the door when Dimitri arrives, he doesn't open the door right to greet Dimitri before he gets there. Even after Dimitri knocks and calls for him from the other side, Claude only stands there for a long moment, his hand frozen on the doorknob. Is it because he doesn't want to look like he's been desperately waiting like this? Is it because he wants to try to play it cool and collected like he always is in relationships? Is it because he feels like he needs a second for his heart to stop racing?
Yes. On all counts.
Not that he keeps Dimitri waiting long. It's only about 15 seconds before he opens the door. Rather than looking cool or collected, it's plain to see that there's a very faint flush of pink rising in his cheeks. Claude's smile is a little more coy than casual.]
...Hey. [He's just happy to see Dimitri. Though it doesn't take more than a second for Claude to realize that his gaze is lingering on Dimitri fondly just a touch too long. Not because that's really a bad thing, but more because it's probably a little rude to leave Dimitri standing in the doorway like that. He forces out a clearing of his throat as he steps aside, allowing room for Dimitri to come inside.]
Come on in. Mi casa es su casa and all that. [He figures any affections in their greetings can probably wait until the door's closed behind them. But also, Claude's not entirely sure what affections those would be. Reaching for Dimitri's hand? A light hug? A peck of the lips?
Navigating a relationship where he actually cares about the outcome and making sure Dimitri is comfortable at every step of the process is a lot more difficult than he would've thought before now.]
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But that small change is more than enough for all of this, everything, to feel like so much more. The nervous butterflies only continue to flutter in his stomach despite his excitement and eagerness, and the moment Claude opens his door...
Honestly, that eager anticipation immediately melts into something so much softer and warmer. Just seeing Claude's face makes him so much happier, and even if it's only a casual greeting, hearing Claude's voice makes his heart both race and settle at the same time. Sure he could picture Claude's voice perfectly through his text; it's still nothing compared to hearing it aloud, to seeing Claude's smile accompany that greeting.]
Hi. [His expression is buttery soft as he gazes at Claude, taking in the flush on his cheeks and the way his gaze seems to linger which in turn makes Dimitri's own cheeks flush even warmer. Part of him almost wants to explain it away the way he always did before, that surely he must be imagining things that Claude's gaze might linger on him, or that his smile might seem extra bright after spending time together. Maybe it's still a little bit presumptuous to think and wonder if maybe it's because of him...
But now, he at least knows that there's a very, very good chance he's a reason for it. And he wants to keep being a reason for Claude to look so happy.]
Technically it's not quite your "house" when the university owns it, is it?
[It's just a little bit of teasing though as Dimitri makes his way inside. Truthfully, in the short time they've known one another, he really has been inside Claude's dorm so many times it could feel like his own. He could make his way cross the room to sit down with his eyes closed at this point, no matter what messes Claude may or may not have in his typically chaotic space.
But Dimitri doesn't do that. Instead of taking a seat like he so often does when coming over to hang out, the moment Claude closes his door, he'll find Dimitri waiting behind him...
With his arms held out for a hug.
His expression is a little nervous, more than a little embarrassed even, and he can't quite meet Claude's eyes for longer than a few seconds before shyly flicking back down, but... But it's okay since they're dating, right? It's okay if he asks to be in Claude's arms for a moment, isn't it? Even if he only asks with a physical gesture like this. As ever, some things are just easier for Dimitri to express in action rather than words.]
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[He offers a bit of a playful grin in response. Sure, Dimitri is technically not wrong in that the university owns it, but Claude's not a freeloader! For the rest of the year, that's his room. So the phrase absolutely, totally applies. If he wants to invite Dimitri into his (temporary) home as if Dimitri lives there, it's fine!
Probably.
The details aren't really that important though; nobody is doing detailed room checks. Besides, they have a class together, so even if someone did want to kick up a fuss, they could easily make it about classwork. Claude isn't too fussed about it though, as evidenced by how relaxed he is. Or how relaxed he seems. He can't deny that his heart is still racing excitedly in his chest—but also true is the fact that Dimitri being right there in front of him also seems to bring a sense of comfortable, familiar calm over him.
That's always been the thing about Dimitri, after all. Whenever they're together, things just feel right, which is why he even developed these feelings to begin with. So despite all the nervous, heart-pounding excitement and the faint flush of pink in his cheeks... he pretty instantly feels comfortable.
And moreso, thrilled as we closes the door and turns to see Dimitri with outstretch arms. It takes virtually no time for him to close the small gap between them, burying his face against Dimitri's chest as he wraps his arms around his core. If Dimitri has any concerns or reasons he thinks he should feel embarrassed for silently asking for a hug, Claude is beyond quick to assuage them. Like most other things when it comes to Dimitri, he's been looking forward to this. Claude might always be trying hard to keep it cool, but there's little denying that he's actually a very affectionate person. When it comes to Dimitri, at least, that's the case. He isn't so quick to offer it to anyone else, but for Dimitri? He wants that all the time, anyway.
He draws in a deep breath, soaking in the feeling of being so close to Dimitri. After a moment, he turns his head slightly, ear pressed against Dimitri's chest to hear Dimitri's heartbeat.]
How was practice? [He likes to go watch Dimitri's games when he can, but he rarely gets the chance to see him practice. Which is maybe for the better when he still doesn't have a strong grasp on the finer details of hockey as a sport. Still, he takes interest! He likes to know how things are going in whatever aspects of Dimitri's life he's willing to share with Claude.]
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Yet for all of his excited nerves in this new part of their relationship, when Claude presses so close against his chest, he's likely to hear the way Dimitri's heart calm down more than anything. It's exciting of course, and he really can't describe just how happy he is seeing Claude again despite having just seen him not too long ago... But there's just something so comforting in being with Claude. Whenever he's been nervous or anxious, even if it was about Claude himself for silly reasons like hoping he'd want to hang out or if he'd be interested in watching something together, just seeing Claude usually calms those nerves down so readily.
So really, he isn't fussed at all about spending so much time in Claude's dorm. There isn't anything that would forbid it, and besides... He just likes being with Claude too much to care. If the occasional student has seen him leaving Claude's dorm early morning in the same clothes he went in with the previous night, they can think what they like. It's not like they've done anything salacious just by hanging out.
... Or at least not yet. Dimitri really doesn't have enough experience to know how those sort of things come about, but that doesn't mean he hasn't wondered or even hoped when it comes to Claude.
But that's neither here nor there for the moment. Right now, all he honestly cares about is holding Claude as closely and tightly as is comfortable for Claude, as if to make up for the few hours they were apart by ensuring there isn't even an inch of space between them.]
It was good. Nothing too out of the ordinary, but I think the team is making strides. At the very least, Caspar seems to have learned that too much aggression will hurt us in real matches. [He admires Caspar's fiery spirit, but he's always been a little too quick and easy to get riled up, and that definitely cost them a bit in their last game. Still, he says it all with good humor. There's definitely some getting used to still with the team, but Dimitri's always appreciated what different people bring to the table. He doesn't think his practices would be that interesting for Claude to watch honestly, but he's happy enough that he likes coming to the official matches when he can despite being unfamiliar with the sport.] And how was your day? Anything exciting during class?
[Even though they texted plenty throughout the day, it's still nice to hear aloud from Claude on how jos day was. Whether it's interesting or mundane, he wants to hear it all.]
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Yet all the same, it still feels too long. He just wants to soak in it a little longer before they properly settle in for the evening—even if he knows they'll probably remain just as close there, too.]
He might be a little slow on the uptake sometimes, but the kid's got spirit. I guess I'll get to see for myself how it plays out at your next game. [Or, at the very least, he'll try! He's taken the time to at least learn some of the terminology and positions, but he's not at the point where he's been able to actively put into practice what those things look like. It's still fun to watch, either way. If nothing else, Claude is never bored, because hockey is so fast-paced and the crowds get hyped up easily.
After a moment, Claude lets out a small laugh, shaking his head against Dimitri's chest.] Class was about as boring as it gets today. Though I did see Lorenz get brutally shut down by some girl. That? That was kinda funny. Maybe one of these days he'll realize being a pompous ass isn't going to win over any hearts.
[There's a difference between being confident and being an ass! Which he's not sure Lorenz has quite figured out. Even though there are people most definitely interested in Lorenz, he still has a bit of a one-track mind for his own standards, it seems. Which, despite some exasperations, is endlessly entertaining to Claude. In some ways, he really is still a bit of a menace, even if it's largely harmless and he keeps a lot of it to himself.]
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So for better or worse, Dimitri is more than content to keep Claude buried against his chest. Part of him thinks that his heart must be Claude's completely already, so really, isn't it only right for Claude to be nestled there beside it?]
Hopefully by then, we'll put on a better game compared to the last one you saw. [And privately, Dimitri hopes Claude will be paying more attention to him than any of his other teammates... But that's a little embarrassing to say when he already knows Claude's primary interest in hockey only developed because of him in the first place, so he keeps it to himself. He can't deny though that seeing Claude cheer him on and get swept up in the excitement of the crowd always motivates him to play better.
Hearing about Claude's day though, Dimitri can't help but laugh, burying his face into Claude's hair to try and muffle the sound a bit. It's not like he dislikes Lorenz by any means, so he doesn't want to be rude, but...]
Claude! [How well his attempt to hide his laughter works is up for debate though, especially when Claude is pressed right against his chest anyways.] Even if Lorenz brought it upon himself, I don't know how kindly he'd take to it being the funniest part of your day.
[Despite his words though, it's not like he's actually trying to scold Claude or anything. Really, from the time he's spent with Claude's friends already, he can picture exactly just how and why Lorenz would earn himself such a brutal shutdown from a girl... And it really is funny every time.]
Perhaps you ought to advise him on how he could better win hearts. [He's only teasing, of course, and he understands generally that Claude's prior dating history probably wouldn't lend well to truly winning hearts... But Claude has his now, so surely he knows a thing or two about winning them!]
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In one sense, because he doesn't seem to be in any rush to actually let go, despite the fact that they'd like be more comfortable settling in and getting cozy off their feet. But Claude really has missed him so much that letting go feels like something of an impossible. task. Even as Dimitri tries to stifle his laughter and playfully scold Claude for his words, Claude just holds on a little tighter, as if he really just can't bear to let go.
The other part of those hopes will be easily met when the time comes because Dimitri is the only reason Claude has taken any interest in hockey. It's undeniably fun to watch even when he doesn't really know what's going on, but Dimitri is always the star of the show to him. He can never really keep his eyes off Dimitri when he's thriving in an environment that seems so natural to him—when that time comes, Dimitri will likely be able to feel those eyes on him the entire time.
But until then, Dimitri will be able to hold on to his hopes as Claude currently keeps himself close. While Dimitri may be holding back some of that laughter as he teases, Claude himself has no qualms with letting his own laughter escape, doing so directly into Dimitri's chest.]
Unfortunately for Lorenz, he's lacking the one thing I have in spades: dangerously good looks and a charming sense of humor. [He's joking.
Kind of. Mostly.
In truth, Claude does know that he's considered attractive to many, and his lighthearted nature makes it easy to win others over. But those things never really won hearts, because Claude lacked the one thing that was important to doing such a thing—opening his own heart to others. He doesn't really know that anyone has ever really loved him so deeply in the past enough to say he won hearts. Dimitri is the first person who he's been serious about—and therefore the first time he's really had to consider these things beyond the surface level thrills of a new relationship and whatever that may have entailed. He isn't so cocky as to think he's really qualified to give anyone else love advice—not to mention the fact that even if he were, Lorenz wouldn't really take it from him anyway.
That's always been the push and pull of their friendship, and Claude is fine with that.] Besides, if I start letting him in on all my secrets, he might just manage to spirit you away from me.
[Okay, so even Claude knows that won't happen. Not even because he thinks Dimitri is that in love with him, just because he thinks Lorenz himself would never be interested in Dimitri that way even if Dimitri was down bad. But that's neither her nor there, not when he's just goofing off and setting the tone for a light and fun night with his boyfriend!]
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And he hopes Claude will give him more kisses and continue to hold him so tightly. Just the way Claude keeps himself, laughing so closely that Dimitri can practically feel it in his heart, fulfills some of those private hopes already.]
To be fair to Lorenz, I doubt there's anyone who shares in your dangerously good looks or charming sense of humor. [It's a little bit of teasing again, even if as far as Dimitri's concerned, it's just the plain truth. He knows his fair share of people with good looks or fun senses of humor, some who even have both, but none of them are quite like Claude. Sure, Annette makes him bust out into belly laughs at time, and someone would have to be blind to not see how objectively gorgeous Yuri is, yet none of that can compare to Claude.
After all, neither of them managed to win Dimitri's heart the way Claude undoubtedly has. That's why even in a joke, he can't help but huff a little, burying his face a little into Claude's hair as if to convey that he's stuck to Claude's side no matter what.] As if I would ever let anyone spirit me away from you.
[Considering that up until Claude, Dimtiri's never even had more than silly crushes on fictional characters? It seems highly unlikely that anyone could spirit him away! Statistically speaking, it's surely nigh impossible. If anything, Dimitri thinks that if either of them could have their hearts won by someone else, it's Claude.
Not because he thinks Claude would cheat on him or anything, but... Dimitri doesn't really think he's all that interesting. He's so new to anything with relationships or romance, part of him honestly worries that Claude might grow bored of him. Sure, they've always had such a good time hanging out together, but that was as friends. What if that's not enough for a relationship? What if their game and movie nights grow stale? Surely there are people out there better looking, funnier, more interesting than him, and actually know something about romantic relationships. If someone like that comes along and pursues Claude, does Dimtiri really have anything that could ensure he keeps Claude's heart?
It's a silly worry to have, especially when Dimitri knows that objectively speaking, it's not like that'd be strange. He saw plenty of couples in high school come together quickly only to break up not long after. Really, they're so early into their relationship that it'd probably be a stretch to say he's won Claude's heart in the first place.
... He just knows that Claude's already won his, even if that's jumping the gun a bit. Nevertheless, even if he doesn't say it aloud, his heart is already so certain.
But none of that is important right now! He's here to goof off and have fun with his boyfriend, not worry about things he has no control over.] So rest assured, you'll get to keep those secrets to yourself.
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[Even as Dimitri buries his face in Claude's hair, Claude says these words. Maybe they reveal a little too much truth despite the light and playful tone—that he does have his insecurities about bagging a guy like Dimitri. He's never met someone who he sincerely wants to spend so much time with. He's never met anyone he's actually wanted to trust with his heart, or where he found himself offering it without even realizing what he was doing.
There's something special about Dimitri, and he knows it. Even if Dimitri sees himself as uninteresting or not special, even if he worries that his lack of experience is something that will eventually bore Claude... well, Claude knows it's not the case. If anything, his own concerns are rooted in not being good enough for Dimitri. His history of promiscuity and being unable to commit, his inability to let himself be truly vulnerable or open—they could all be reasons that Dimitri may eventually grow tired of him. He isn't so naive as to not consider the possibility.
Of course, that's not what he wants, and he doesn't have any intention of giving up so easily. Still, it's reason enough for him to bury himself just a little closer to Dimitri for a moment.] Buuuuut, I think I'd prefer things to stay like this.
[He says it with a laugh, very easily downplaying any of those insecurities. He's not here to cause Dimitri worry, so naturally it's easier to just play it off as teasing and affection rather than anything else. It's still way too early in this relationship for Claude to let himself open up to that degree, after all.]
After all, having a few good secrets keeps things interesting, right? [With another laugh, he finally draws back enough to look up at Dimitri, his smile bright and warm in a way that seems to only show itself when the two of them are alone together.] All that said... I'm sure you'd rather get comfortable than stay on your feet after practice like this.
[There will be plenty of time to cozy up together and cuddle; they don't have to do this standing just inside the doorway, after all.]
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To him, there's truly no one more charming in all of Fódlan, man or woman. Probably in all of Almyra too. Honestly? Probably in the entire world.
But he's not here to argue something so silly when this is supposed to be a nice date. If Claude has any concern at all that someone else could just come along and steal Dimitri's heart away... Well, then all he has to do is prove that such a thing would never happen. He wants to show Claude little by little, day by day, that he only has eyes for him and no one else. After all, to him, Claude is undoubtedly, truly special. Never in his life before has anyone or anything made his heart skip and flutter and pound the way Claude always manages to do so easily. This is a feeling he only knows now because of Claude, and he wouldn't trade it for anything.
Really, it's not a matter of Claude being "good enough" for him, at least not as far as Dimitri's concerned. Claude is who he wants to be with in this way, and that's more than enough for him.]
Thankfully, this is the way I like it best, too. [No having their hearts stolen away by anyone else! Not that he thinks he could say he actually stole Claude's heart... But what matters is that things stay like this! With a few minor adjustments. As much as Dimitri likes being so close and cuddly with Claude, getting to see his face like this is one of those welcome adjustments. It always feels like such a treat when Claude smiles like this.] You don't need to worry about me just because of that... But I suppose there's no real reason to stay standing here regardless.
[He's used to hockey practice, it's fine! Never mind that he's undoubtedly always a bit more tired during their hangouts if it's a practice day... Yet even though he agrees with Claude, he can't really help himself—he briefly closes that distance between them again to give Claude a little peck on his forehead.
Because he can do that now, right? Because it's okay if getting comfortable means sharing a few more affections too, isn't it? Or at least, he really hopes it is.]
So... Let's get comfortable then. [A smooth operator, Dimitri most certainly is not. His cheeks flush, his smile a little shy and nervous again, but he really did just want to share his affections like that. It feels a little silly, but he knew he wouldn't be able to sit down and relax for the rest of the evening without getting some of that energy out!]
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Call it a little less "worry" and a little more "speaking from experience." [His words come with a grin and a wink. It isn't really that he's particularly worried; Dimitri can take care of himself and if he couldn't handle a bit of a standing around after practice, he probably would have just invited Claude to his room to save even that little bit of effort. At least, that's what he thinks. But Claude's no stranger to just wanting to sit and relax after that kind of exertion; archery practice usually has Claude wanting to just lay out on the floor for a good, long while. After all that hard work, surely Dimitri would like to just get comfortable and relax!
Though explaining that train of thought gets completely derailed when Dimitri kisses his forehead—if only because he can feel his cheeks heating up. It's something Dimitri can do. And something he should do! Claude clearly enjoys the attention and affection, and seeing Dimitri's cheeks flushed, accompanied by that shy smile only makes him want even more of it.] Mm.
[With just enough distance between them, Claude reaches for Dimitri's hand (because he's sure he can do that now!), leading him deeper into the room. It's nothing Dimitri hasn't already seen, but the atmosphere Claude's got in his room is undeniably unique to him. The bed has pillows lining the wall to be used as a sofa, with the TV set up on the opposite wall. There are fairy lights around the window and the perimeter of the room—something Hilda had done months ago that Claude simply left because she put a surprising amount of effort into making it look "warm and welcoming." The nightstand next to the bed has pictures of him with his siblings, parents, and friends. His desk is stacked high with books about the unification war, alongside his laptop and other work for class. Every spare space is filled with something—an unused Almyran incense pot, little gifts and doo-dads given to him by friends, pictures and mementos of the time he's spent at Garreg Mach. It's chaotic and a bit messy, yet somehow warm and homey all the same—as much as can be possible in a dorm room, at least.]
Make yourself right at home. You know, as much as you can in a cramped dorm that will only be my humble abode until the year ends. [Time to get cozy and comfortable, but Claude will let Dimitri settle in first.]
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As Claude takes his hand though, he wastes no time in holding Claude's hand back, his beaming smile brightening once again even as all Claude does is lead him further into the room. Safe to say that it's definitely okay for Claude to take his hand wherever and whenever!
Just like always though, Claude's room really is the familiar, chaotic whirlwind he's come to expect it to be. Yet despite only being halfway through their freshman year, Claude's dorm is almost as homey to him as his own. He knows from experience how comfortable sitting on Claude's bed like a couch is, where exactly he can find Claude's laptop, that there's probably at least one book in Claude's stack that's on the precipice of being overdue at the library. It may be a bit messy, no matter how many times he's offered to help Claude clean up or organize, but it definitely gives it a homey feeling as well.
It's why he's a bit surprised as he takes a seat on the bed, his back against the wall-lined pillows. Despite his words earlier, it's definitely nice to be off his feet and sitting after working so hard during his hockey practice.
And naturally, he doesn't let go of Claude's hand even as he responds, too.]
Just until the year ends? Were you thinking of changing dorms? [He figured Claude would just renew his hold on it. Did he want to upgrade to one of the nicer dorms, maybe? There are some that come with more space and amenities, after all—which Sylvain never failed to describe as a hit with the ladies, no matter Dimitri's disinterest.]
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But it's neither here nor there at the moment so long as Dimitri feels like he can get comfortable. As Dimitri takes the seat on the bed, Claude takes the extra step to his nightstand to grab the TV remote, lightly tossing it onto the mattress next to where he'll be sitting so that he won't need to move too much later just to turn it on. He wastes no time taking up the spot next to Dimitri and immediately resting some of his weight on Dimitri, all the while never letting go of his hand. Now that they're on the bed, he wants to get comfortable, he wants to take advantage of the fact that they are dating now. He no longer has to keep that awkward distance to not seem to pushy or make Dimitri uncomfortable. It's fine for him to want to cuddle up, isn't it?
They might still be navigating the things that are acceptable and comfortable in their new relationship, but he can't imagine that Dimitri won't enjoy this too. After all, it felt like the hardest part of things as their feelings for one another grew was the fact that every time they got too close, they'd be self-conscious or try to write it off as just something close friends do. Now that they don't have any pretenses, why hold back, right?]
Not sure yet. [Claude answers after a moment, closing his eyes as he ponders on it thoughtfully.] Well, nothing set in stone, at least. But I've been saving up to get an apartment off-campus... though I'm still not sure I'd be able to swing the rent on my own.
[Truth be told, the only thing that's really giving Claude hesitation now is that it'd be less convenient for them to get together that way. But Claude much prefers having a level of both freedom and privacy that the dorms don't afford, especially when he wants to come and go at all hours of the night based on his sleep schedule at any given time. Having even a slightly bigger space, a proper kitchen to do more than microwave things or store leftover fast food would be nice too, even if he's not much of a cook. There are a lot of reasons dorm life feels a little inflexible for his liking...
But he can't really settle on it yet, either. He really doesn't know if rent will be affordable, and none of his friends really have the same qualms with dorm life as he does. It'd be nice if Dimitri could be his roommate, but there's really no easy way to make that proposition seriously without coming on too strong. Maybe if they hadn't started dating, he could frame it as normal friendly roommates—but now that feels like it may be a little too serious, too soon to ask. At the very least, Claude doesn't seem too troubled by it.
If he has to stay in the dorms another year, there's a chance he may consider upgrading to a bigger space. None of it is serious or world-ending, but he just doesn't foresee that he'll be in this same room by the time they start their sophomore year.] That's all still months away, anyhow, so I haven't started making any real plans yet.
[Either way, he won't be too far. Even if it gets slightly more inconvenient to sneak over to each other's rooms, they'll make it work, so long as Dimitri is still interested in him by then!]
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And with him so close, it feels so easy, so natural even, to shift his head a bit and press a kiss into Claude's hair before leaning back against him.]
I see... While it's sure to be more expensive than the dorms, I'm sure there must be apartments on the more affordable side here. [Garreg Mach may be a popular, storied city with a long history in many ways, but it is also just as much a college town. There must be apartment complexes geared towards university students like themselves, so maybe with enough searching, Claude would be able to find something suitable.
He'll have to do some research of his own and see what he can find. While he doesn't know Claude's budget, he could at least find a few affordable options and pose them to Claude... And maybe see if it's something he could afford to split with Claude. Admittedly, he was perfectly content to just renew his hold on the dorm at the end of the year. His room is certainly on the smaller side, but he's always been more of a practical person than not. It meets his needs right now, so there wasn't much reason to think about getting a bigger space.
But he can't pretend the idea of living with Claude doesn't make him happy. Part of him wants to ask right now, but that's probably moving a little too fast into things, right? They've only just started dating, and even if they've spent a lot of time together prior, that doesn't mean he knows how they'd be as roommates. If he asked now about moving into Claude's hypothetical apartment, it would probably come across as way too serious and eager. He doesn't want to scare Claude off like that!
... Even if the honest truth is that he really is that serious and eager about Claude.]
I'll be honest though, I'm glad that's months away. I like how close your dorm is to mine. An apartment sounds a little too far from you... [Right now, all it takes is a few steps for them to see each other. When it comes to seeing his boyfriend as much as possible, it's hard to beat that!]
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They're small gestures that go such a long way, and while Claude won't push for it or pressure Dimitri into anything? Part of him does hope that the leaning this way will shift into being wrapped in each other's arms, that maybe the night will grow late enough together that it'd be better for Dimitri to stay the night, and that maybe they can just stay comfortably on the bed, in that case. Any thoughts beyond that haven't quite entered his mind because of how soon it is, and going at Dimitri's pace is something Claude takes pretty seriously, all things considered. But now that they're dating, he doesn't see the harm in spending the night together, close and cozy. If Dimitri is okay with taking at least those steps, he'd be completely content to have those small changes.
The night is young, though. They've barely even gotten settled to decide just how they'll be spending the evening. They haven't even made dinner plans yet, let alone figure out the evening. So for the time being, he's content to soak in it all as they talk.]
Probably, but my budget's still a little tight. My parents aren't gonna be willing to foot the bill on that one. [He laughs a little; he's clearly not bothered by that. It seems like a fair enough compromise that if Claude wants to live off-campus, then he has to pay for that choice. They pay his tuition and on-campus room and board, but if he doesn't like what they offer, he's on his own.
Which just means he needs to figure out the rest on his own. That's why he hasn't committed to his plans yet, and why he's considering hos options and what would be best in the long run. He can't deny that Dimitri being just steps away is a point in the dorms' favor.]
Well, even if I end up being a little farther away, you'd still come visit, right? There'd be a lot more room to stretch out instead of trying to use one of these little mattresses as a sofa. [He tries to play it down a little, but he does worry the inconvenience would keep Dimitri away. Part of why their relationship has been able flourish has been because they're able to be so close all the time. Would that change if Claude moves off-campus?
He's not sure. Ideally, a time would come where they'd be able to live together—but it's too soon to seriously suggest that. They'd be moving way too fast, logically speaking. And scaring Dimitri off by being too pushy would actually be even worse than just about anything else. But Claude will be Claude, which is why he can easily frame it as a lighthearted joke.] I mean, who knows? Maybe by then, I'll be in the market for a roommate, or you'll be the one in the market to get off campus a bit more.
[An invitation without really being an invitation. A light proposition at best, something Dimitri can mull over for a few months. And maybe if they're still together by then, it wouldn't be a bad thing to consider. It's not like having roommates to split the rent with is all that strange, especially for university students, right? It doesn't even have to be tied to the fact that they're dating...
He isn't going to get his hopes up, but it at least makes for fun conversation. It's not as if Claude could possibly know that Dimitri would seriously consider it, or that he wants to be around and with Claude just as much as Claude wants to do the very same with him.]
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Of course I would still come visit you. There's very little that could keep me from doing so. [In his mind right now, it'd really just be things like emergencies, being sick, or being out of town for other things. He'd rather not get Claude sick with a cold just because he wanted to see him, after all... Even if the loneliness of not seeing Claude during then is undoubtedly a hardship, one he isn't particularly keen to go through again even if it's not like he can avoid getting sick his whole life. Being able to talk to Claude only through little notes or online calls was hard, okay!] Keep me posted on how your search goes though. I can't say moving out of the dorms is something I've thought about... But that doesn't mean it'll stay that way.
[It's hard to say right now. While his athletics scholarship helps a lot when it comes to school expenses, that doesn't mean he has enough cash lying around on hand right now for renting an apartment. Getting a part-time job would of course be an option, but then there'd be finding a way to balance that with what's already a fairly busy schedule. Of course, it's not like he has to move in with Claude if he finds an apartment; depending on the distance, switching in a walk or bike ride to Claude's place would make for a good part of his workout routine. If Claude ended up with a different roommate though to afford rent, Dimitri can't pretend he wouldn't be jealous over that...
Well, it's all a lot of hypotheticals right now. It'd be weird if he told Claude just how seriously he was considering it, right? There's no guarantee on where things will be within the next couple months, and it's not like they know if Claude will find an affordable apartment or not. Besides, their relationship really is so new still... Common sense dictates that it'd probably be pretty foolish to move in together so quickly.
Never mind that he never seems to have any common sense when it comes to Claude, but for now, that's neither here nor there.]
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I would've done that either way, you know. [His response comes with a warmly amused laugh.] I'd be a pretty terrible boyfriend if I just decided to move farther away without telling you a thing.
[Claude knows he isn't the best communicator about some things in his life, but he's nowhere near that closed off. Regardless of whether or not Dimitri wants to move in with him at any point, he still intends on relying on Dimitri for moral support at the very least. Someone to come look at apartments he's considering, or help him track down some cheap furniture that falls within his budget—the small sort of things that one should rely on their partner for. He won't put the pressure on Dimitri about moving in together; right now it's just a playful seed to plant, but even come the time when he's ready to move, he'll just want Dimitri's company and support as he navigates taking some new steps in his life.]
Either way, no need to think too hard on it now. It's not like you have to think about moving out of the dorms. It has its benefits, so it's not like there's anything wrong with it. [He just really doesn't want Dimitri to feel rushed or pressured. After all, what kind of boyfriend would he be if he did something like that? He wants Dimitri to make those choices on his own terms, when the time is right. They're still learning to navigate their relationship, so asking for too much else would be silly. They've got months to see if maybe that sort of arrangement would even make sense for them.
(But he'd much rather have Dimitri for a roommate than one of his other friends or a random stranger.)] And if things change...
[He hums quietly, as if to let Dimitri know he's not shutting down any possibility or want—just that he is trying to take things at a pace that makes sense for them.] Figuring things out together is what couples do, right?
[He also wants to make it clear that he very much so enjoys being able to call them a couple, now that they actually are one, rather than dancing around the formalities.]
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[It's easy to poke a bit of fun of himself, and naturally, he has every intention of doing all the heavy lifting should Claude need it if and when he moves! Really though, he's not actually worried about Claude springing a move on him out of nowhere. While he's heard things here and there from some of Claude's friends like Hilda and Lorenz, it's still a little hard to believe their views of Claude being a little closed off or anything of that nature. Communication may not always be perfect because nothing is, but for as long as he's known Claude, he's been nothing but genuine and sincere with him.
That's why he isn't worried about Claude rushing or pressuring him about moving either. Really, Dimitri knows he's often the one person putting the most pressure on himself for anything... But objectively he knows Claude wouldn't force him to make a choice like that if he wasn't ready to. It's only his own impatience and feelings for Claude that make him want to be a little more reckless and throw caution to the wind so they could have their own private space together. There's no need to get ahead of himself though, and he knows it. Claude isn't completely decided yet anyways, and there's still plenty of time for Dimitri to think on it as well.
Although any thinking he might be doing comes to a screeching halt when Claude calls them a couple. It's silly, and Dimitri knows it, but he can't help the way his cheeks flush at Claude stating aloud that simple fact.]
But you're right. Tackling those sorts of changes and challenges together... Surely that's what couples are meant to do in the first place.
[Dimitri pauses, almost a little awkwardly or even hesitantly; it's clear he means to say more, but it takes him a short moment to get there. Instead, he sinks a little more into Claude's hair, taking advantage of their closeness to just breathe Claude in a little bit... Or maybe it's to hide his face a little when his cheeks feel so flushed and hot.]
... I like it. Being a couple, I mean. [It's a bit embarrassing. He knows he's overreacting a bit, just hearing Claude call them a couple. It just... makes him so happy though. To know that they're not dancing around formalities anymore, that he doesn't have to worry about what Claude's feelings are or that his own might ruin their friendship.]
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[His words come with a playful laugh. While it's true that Dimitri's strength far outweighs his, it's not like Claude is really weak either. He's definitely been building up muscle and getting more toned since he started taking his archery more seriously. He was definitely a bit more scrawny in high school, and even at the start of moving into the dorms, he hadn't grown all that much. But Claude is, in fact, a growing boy who takes his fitness seriously enough!
Not hockey player, intense athlete serious, but enough so that he still wants to excel with the sport he's chosen. Still, he knows there are few better candidates to help him move furniture. Raphael would willingly help, and if he had to, he could ask Balthus or even Holst for help. But he'd really rather avoid that, because he really doesn't need to discover new ways that either of them can find to embarrass him in public. Besides, he really does want every chance he can possibly get to spend time with Dimitri. After all, he has no idea how long this will really last.
Which just makes him more prone to settling in against Dimitri, ready to wholly embrace the closeness and the way Dimitri too, seems to want to stay this way. Every time they address their status as a couple, it seems like the heat rises to both their cheeks. It's young love to be sure, but Claude has never really felt this way about anyone he's dated or slept with. He's never felt so content to stay so close, never felt like he just fit with another person in quite this way.
And maybe that's what makes that warmth bloom in his chest when Dimitri finally says that he likes being a couple. Dimitri may worry that he's overreacting, but hearing it this way is like having his own feelings mirrored. It gives him a sense of warmth and acceptance and that reminder that Dimitri really does feel the same way he does about this.]
I like it, too. Even more than I would've ever thought. [Even leaving aside how nice it is to stop dancing around the formalities and trying to figure out where to draw the line—it goes beyond that.
It's the fact that he's always eager to see Dimitri. That he looks forward to when they meet up, and always feels disappointed when they have to part. It's the way his heart races when Dimitri can smile at him so brightly. It's the way when Dimitri seems stressed or upset, he just wants to drop everything he's doing to help.
That's never happened to him before. Dates felt like obligation after a while, he felt stressed trying to provide comfort or consolation to someone who needed his to be emotionally open. If things started feeling too serious, he'd feel the need to back away and distance himself. Ultimately, he was beginning to feel like he simply wasn't suited to relationships and was better off with casual flings to meet his needs. So now, having this? It feels like a whole new world is opening up in front of him that he didn't even think was possible for him.] I'm sure not every challenge will be fun, but... I think if I'm tackling it with you, things will work out.
[Somehow, with Dimitri... Everything always just feels right. He's never been one to believe in fate or anything like that, and yet, it just seems they slot together so naturally that they can make anything work if they're together.]
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[It comes with an easy chuckle, knowing Claude is just joking. Still, it's not a fair comparison, and he knows it! Even putting aside how seriously he takes athletics, his Crest-given strength isn't anything any normal person could match up to. Honestly, it still baffles him how he even has it when there haven't been any Crest-bearers in ages... But if nothing else, it'll make him good help for whenever Claude moves!
Not that it's anything to worry about right this moment anyways. With Claude settling in against him, the only thing on his mind is how comfortable and warm he feels. Spending time together always felt like that even before they started dating, but now, there isn't any of the trepidation of wondering if maybe there could be more, wondering what Claude would do if he shifted to hold Claude's hand or kiss him on the lips. Instead, he can hold Claude's hand whenever he wants, just like he is right now. As for kissing...
Well, even with dating, it's somehow still a little nerve-wracking at times, but he at least knows it's mostly all in his head. Claude has yet to turn a kiss down so far, and so long as that remains the case, then it's just up to Dimitri to work up the nerve for it. Right now at least, it's becoming easier and easier for him to offer other little affections, which he happily does by pressing another kiss into Claude's hair.]
Good, I'm glad. [Objectively, he knows it's not like Claude has been unhappy in their relationship, but still! It makes him happy to hear that Claude likes being together with him in this way. Especially when he knows that relationships like these aren't exactly typical for Claude, the fact that he's still enjoying himself is more than enough to make Dimitri happy too. After all, it's not like he has much knowledge or expertise with this, so if Claude didn't like being a couple, he'd probably be panicking looking for a way to try and fix that.] It might be impossible for every challenge to be fun, but so long as we're together, I'm sure we'll find a way to manage.
Including the challenge of deciding what we'll do tonight, it seems. [He's only teasing of course, but he's not sure if Claude had anything in mind! They could play games, or maybe watch something together? There are one or two things they're in the middle of, yet that's never stopped them from picking up something new either.]
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[He's laughing, so it's obvious he still isn't too serious! Still, compared to a lot of people in Claude's life, he really doesn't have that bulkier build. Balthus undoubtedly takes after their dad in that respect. Nader is pretty bulky, as are Holst and Raphael. And then there's Dimitri, of course—who may not be quite like them, but makes Claude look small in comparison!
It doesn't really bother him, but it's something he's aware of. Naturally, the fact Dimitri has such strong arms is a point in his favor, because he finds he likes the security of being held close in those arms. The idea of Crest strength doesn't even really occur to him, since the appearance of them was rare enough even in the times when they were heavily relied upon in Fódlan.
(He also doesn't consider that his own stamina and how it seems to shine best during his archery tournaments and practices could be tied to a Crest; the notion of Riegan blood coursing through his veins is nothing more than a goofy fantasy he's had in admirations here and there.)]
As for what to do tonight... Why not just play it by ear? We can order in some food when you're hungry, watch a movie...
[Maybe make out for a while? Honestly, that's mostly where Claude is going with this. Not that he intends for things to go too far, but he's craving a bit of Dimitri's affection right now. Better to just put on a movie in the background that might not matter too much if they inevitably get distracted by trading kisses? They've got all the time in the world to finish watching the shows they've started or making progress in the game they've been playing! Going about things by playing the night fast and loose sounds a bit more fun to him.
Claude's definitely not shy with his intentions, and without even saying it directly, there's undeniably an undertone that he probably wants to spend some time doing things that they can only do now that they're actually a couple. At the very least, Dimitri doesn't have to leave any room for worry that Claude isn't fully invested in what they have going on right now.]
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[He knows it's not something Claude seriously worries about, but he's just saying! The only way to have real noodle arms is to be like this. Whether Claude had literal spaghetti for arms though or not, Dimitri would like him regardless. Having similar strength or fitness as he does was never something he considered to be a priority in finding someone attractive. Of course, he never really personally felt someone was attractive until Claude anyways... So it all works out regardless!
(Besides, trying to hold someone to the same standard of strength he has would be unfair. He still remembers his parents taking him to the doctor as a child for them to conduct Hanneman's Test after accidentally breaking so many things at home and school. Toys, silverware, tables, playground equipment... Granted, it took a few tries as the pediatrician had to read off a manual to properly run the test having never done so before, but it gave him a sure diagnosis and identification of having the Crest of Blaiddyd. A rarity to be sure, although it was also common knowledge that House Blaiddyd had plenty of branches and descendants outside of the famed King Dimitri.)
But at Claude's suggestion, all thoughts of noodles and strength fly out from Dimitri's head. There's nothing particularly suggestive or illicit about the words themselves, of course, but Dimitri can just tell where Claude is really going with this.]
Oh, um, sure! We can just... play it by ear. I'm still not hungry yet, so I guess for now we can... Pick and movie, and then, uh. Just, you know, relax...
[Is it really worth getting this worked up and nervous when he knows that Claude probably just wants to kiss a bit? Not really, yet it sends his heart racing all the same. Not because of disinterest—after all the times Dimitri struggled not to kiss Claude during their hangouts, he'd love nothing more than to freely be able to do that.
Still, he feels so new to all of this. Claude seems to like the little chaste kisses he's offered, but he's never made out with someone before. He doesn't know how. What if he's not good at it? What if Claude doesn't like it? What if him being a bad kisser makes Claude lose interest in him? Not that he thinks Claude would be so shallow as that, but if he disappoints Claude by being bad at kissing, he'll never forgive himself.
For all his nervous overthinking though, his hand remains tightly entwined with Claude's. He really likes the idea of exchanging affections. He's just also very concerned over whether or not Claude will really like kissing him when he's so inexperienced.]
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All of that goes out the window pretty quickly as Dimitri begins to react to Claude's suggestions. For a moment, he remains quiet with little more than a pleased, encouraging smile on his lips—he's giving Dimitri some time to sort out what he wants and is comfortable with rather than acting so decisively.
Were this a past relationship, Claude would've likely skipped all these formalities. He'd have been quick (and likely right) to assume his partner was looking to skip the meal and use the movie as nothing more than background noise to drown out the sounds of desire that someone on the other side of the wall might catch. There wouldn't be hand-holding this way, but Claude crawling into their lap, or perhaps pulling them into his and asserting what they both want.
But this isn't a past relationship. It's Dimitri. And because of that? Claude wants to do things right. He wants to make sure he goes at Dimitri's pace, make sure he's comfortable with any steps forward they take, and make sure that his own experience only helps Dimitri grow more comfortable with Claude in these situations. He has no issue with Dimitri being inexperienced—there's something fun and exciting about knowing he gets to be the one who guides Dimitri through these experiences. If there's anything he's concerned about, it's the notion that his own, excessive experience might intimidate Dimitri or scare him off once things escalate. It's a concern that for now he is always doing his best to keep at bay, but there's little denying that going slow is new to Claude. And he really, really doesn't want to mess that up.]
Sounds like a good enough start to me. We can order something once we get hungry. [His smile widens a bit, still soft, maybe with just a hint of mischief.] We can start with the movie, and the relaxing.
[Though in this case, he does mean relaxing, because he can tell Dimitri is a little nervous. He's not sure if it's the inexperience, Claude's abundant experience, if he's uncomfortable with escalating their affections any—but he definitely wants Dimitri to be able to unwind with him. With their hands still intertwined this way, Claude gives Dimitri's hand a gentle squeeze.] No reason to rush, right? ...Since we don't need to be up early for any classes or anything like that.
[They've got all night, for whatever it may entail.]
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Even if his nerves make him feel silly for an entirely different reason. While he's heard bits and pieces of Claude's past dating history (one of the many times he's wished El wasn't so overprotective, if only so she didn't have Hubert be so terrifying), he would never be so judgmental as to call Claude's experience "excessive." Still, it would be a lie to say that he isn't a bit intimidated by it... But only because he genuinely worries he could be boring to Claude.
Objectively, he knows there's no reason to think that. Everything about the way they've spent time together till now indicates the exact opposite, and from the warm, encouraging smile on Claude's face only further proves. Still, much like Claude, he's a little terrified of potentially messing this up. Maybe Claude isn't bored of him right now, but surely he expects something different when it comes to a relationship. What if that's something Dimitri doesn't know how to provide when Claude wants or needs it? He can see the slant of mischief in Claude's grin, and it's all too easy to imagine what that could entail—but Dimitri doesn't know if he can match up to whatever Claude may have in mind.
When Claude squeezes his hand so gently though, the frantic thoughts swirling in his head finally start to slow down. It could almost be funny, how Claude seems to be both the reason for his heart racing and why it calms down. Somehow, Claude's presence just has a way of helping him settle, whether from his own nerves or anything else.]
Right. Well... As long as you don't think there is, then there's no need to rush at all. [There's something just the faintest bit hesitant in Dimitri's gaze, or maybe even worried. It's a little too embarrassing to say it straight, but he just wants to make sure that Claude really doesn't mind if he's a little slower with this.
Maybe only a little slower though. Even if he can't pretend he isn't at least a bit nervous, he still scoots himself closer to Claude on the bed. While it might be a little soon for him crawl into Claude's lap or vice versa, there's no denying that he wants to be closer to Claude. As close as someone might want to be with their boyfriend.] We can take our time with the movie... And with relaxing, too.
[However the rest of the night ends up going, as long as Claude is happy and comfortable, he thinks that'll help him genuinely relax as well.]
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But seeing Dimitri's smile widen should be just enough... and it's not. Because he can also sense that faint hesitation, seeing the worry in his gaze. And really? It's not as if Claude can say Dimitri's feelings aren't justified. They've spent enough time together for Claude to understand that exploring these feelings is something new for Dimitri—and that Dimitri has every reason to have any measure of trepidation. Even if Claude is doing his best to be reassuring, it clearly isn't quite enough. In that respect, there's a realization that he needs to do more in order to ensure Dimitri knows it's okay.
Whatever trepidation he has—whether because of his own concerns of being inexperienced, or because he worries said inexperience would be some kind of deterrent to Claude—he needs to ease it. And if words aren't enough, then it stands to reason that he needs to do something, take some kind of action to assuage those concerns. Which... well, it's a bit easier said than done when he's really doing his best to respect Dimitri's boundaries and his pace. Not being able to rely on what he's always used in these situations is more challenging than he had initially anticipated, even if it's a challenge he'd like to rise up to face head-on.
How? Well, he can try to figure that out as he goes. These thoughts are all barreling through his mind at a frantic pace, jumbled and scattered in ways that only Claude himself would ever be able to reasonably decipher.]
That's right. Don't they say it's about the journey and not the destination? [Okay, so it's not really much in the way of action, but Dimitri seems to have a way of stumping him, of flustering him out of doing what he'd normally do, so he simply doesn't have actions for this just yet, barring the way he embraces Dimitri scooting closer. He closes his eyes contentedly as he leans his head against Dimitri's shoulder, relaxing a bit more. It's almost like a silent signal to Dimitri: he's comfortable this way. There's nothing to worry about aside just having each other's company.] No reason to rush through the best parts just to see the end result.
[The best parts, of course, being the fact that they can just exist this way, without dancing around their feelings or what they want. They don't have to worry about one-sided attraction or accidentally crossing lines that just friends simply shouldn't do under normal circumstances.
(And who knew it could really be just that easy? This is all brand new information to Claude, after all.)]
ignoring how embarrassingly long this took me (and it's not even the worst offender)
Of course, what he doesn't realize either is that for all that their relationship has been fast and furious and out of the ordinary, this part of it is more typical. For things to be a little awkward here and there as they get to know each other in this new way, stumbling around a bit in trying to express these feelings he's never felt before... On an objective level, Dimitri knows these things, but with things still being so new, it's yet to really sink in that it would extend to the physical aspects of their relationship as well.
For the moment though, he tries his best to push that nervousness from his mind. Claude leans his head against him so easily after he scooted closer, his heart practically blooming in warmth because of it. Despite not saying anything, Claude makes his message plenty clear: Dimitri knows that he's comfortable, at ease, relaxed. He can tell immediately that Claude likes being here with him like this, and as leans his head against Claude's, a wide grin spreading across his face, he knows he likes being here together like this just as much.]
I certainly hope so. In some ways, it felt like such a journey just to reach where we are... But I'd rather this journey never end at all.
[And just like that, all of Dimitri's attempts to relax and push his nerves aside come crashing to a halt.
That wasn't—was that too forward? Too much? Did he basically just say he never wants their relationship to end? It's all true of course, there's a part of him that already thinks they could get married tomorrow and he'd be the happiest man on earth for the rest of his life—But isn't it far too early to say something like that so new into a relationship? Maybe there's a platonic way to interpret it, even though they're talking in the context of their romantic relationship so probably not. Granted, if they did actually break up, Dimitri's sure he would so desperately want to remain friends even if his heart remained shattered and broken for the rest of his life—
While Claude's thoughts are jumbled and scattered, Dimitri's are shooting off at the speed of light in an embarrassed, flustered whirlwind of emotions.]
I, um— That is— [He groans, lifting his head away from Claude so he can bury it in his free hand instead.] Sorry, I don't even know what I'm saying anymore...